Statements of the Week, 2001

January 14th

There has been something relevant to GS on my mind lately, though it's probably not as interesting as (I hope) my other topics are. As time goes by I seem to get more and more strangers coming up to me in the game, mostly whispering that they like my site and such. But I've also heard that So-and-so had tried to get to know me in the past with another character--due to my status as an intriguing person, I think, though I may be imagining that--in fact I almost certainly am--and been rebuffed, or ignored, or brushed aside, or something.

She wasn't upset, and I was simultaneously flattered and distressed. It's hard to imagine myself ignoring someone trying to roleplay with me, but easy to believe. I'd certainly never do something like that on purpose. Not unless the person was really annoying, anyway. And it's hard to imagine I could simply be so engrossed in something that I didn't notice someone was trying to get my attention. But I believe it, because of my own experiences.

I may have talked about this before... I've come into the game with younger characters, and tried to roleplay with people Juspera knows, people I think of as friendly and welcoming and open to roleplaying with strangers--maybe we all think of ourselves that way--and been roundly ignored. I don't think my impression of Juspera's friends was wrong. It is, rather, my theory that we're simply more oblivious than we'd ever realize. The actions of our friends and people we want to impress are bright, but the actions of strangers fall into peripheral vision. And we have blinders on and don't realize it.

Now I wonder how many people have come to the room I've in and tried to join in the conversation, or engage my attention, and I never even noticed. While I'm not the most sociable person, I certainly don't want to think of myself as inaccessible. I have had enough frustrations in trying to get people's attention, and join in the roleplay, that I now feel the urge to be extra vigilant here. And pay more attention to strangers. What's the worst that could happen, besides feeding my already swollen sense of self-importance?

January 21st

On the boards (where I seem to get most of my subjects from) there's been a rash of posts lately by cynical and dissatisfied roleplayers who lament how the game is going downhill and ponder leaving. These things seem to come in cycles.

I am not one to be bothered by folks' posting every other month to say the game is so bad they're thinking of leaving, but never actually leaving; I never saw that as any kind of crime. But I am beginning to get a little distressed at the relentless negativity. My problem here isn't that I want everyone to act hopeful when they're not, but that my perceptions of the game seem so different from those of my peers, I'm starting to wonder if somebody isn't crazy.

I will swear upon my Computer Games Magazine that I see more roleplaying, less OOC behavior, and greater attentiveness on the part of the staff than I did two years ago. I cannot discount the possibility that I have simply been very lucky. But nearly every day I am delighted by someone I've never seen before making the effort to roleplay. When I approach a stranger with faith that he will respond favorably to my attempts to roleplay with him, I am rarely disappointed. Not everyone is especially skilled or consistent, but most can come up with some good stuff if coaxed.

And I see a good deal less OOC, which I would like to attribute to the fact that the ook-laden auctioning has been moved to the black net. Players are no longer assaulted daily with "-={SELLING}=- +23 scripted longsword 80/190 str. show desc: 'The longsword has been wickedly sharpened and bears the image of leaping flames etched along its length.' MB 500k TTM for scripts!" as soon as they rub their amulets. I can now go days without seeing a smiley or "::hugs::" on the grey net, and weeks without seeing them in speech. What's more, I see more refusal to let OOC terms slip by than I used to, more alternative terms offered up when someone pulls a turnip.

As for the staff... I am continually experiencing pleasant surprise over new game changes (perhaps due to low expectations, but who cares?). Especially changes I myself had asked for. More difficult fogging, the ability to turn titles off, the ability to whisper when dead, to name three... and more are in the works. Ambush downtweaks, bigger armor penalties, removal of the portal between RR and the Landing. Not to mention the changes other players have asked for. Or the staff reorganization and creation of the event calendar. Then there's the banaltra event, which was meant to have up to a third of the characters in the lands die and decay. And ah, the moving of commerce to the black net, for which we'd all campaigned a year or more. And they said Simu would never risk angering that many players!

The game will never be what the roleplaying purists want it to be. Often I encourage people who are unhappy in the game to leave it, but I can't bring myself to do so here. While what OOC or game imbalance I see isn't putting a damper on my experience, the departure of friends most certainly is. I can make new friends, of course, to spend heady nights of hijinx with. I'd just rather not have to.

January 28th

We reach into Message Boards Past for this statement... well, a week past... I'm sure many of you will remember this thread.

Someone had, in her excitement, forgotten to use the almighty MY and had placed some favorite items in a cloak on the clothier's rack. A moment later she realized this and returned to find that the items (and the person who'd seen her make her mistake) were gone. She was asking if there were any honest people left in the game.

This spawned a bit of discussion, much of it laughably self-satisfied attempts to berate the poster for her flub, but some of it interesting. And some of it disturbing to me (as usual). And as usual, I'm going to tell you all why! Are we having fun yet?

The disturbing thing was that more than one person said they'd have had their "thief" character take the items in question because it's good roleplaying. I've never been a proponent of the view that good roleplaying is supposed to seriously upset other players, rather than entertain them, so of course I took issue. So this week I have to ask... who made roleplaying God?

Quite a number of people in the game seem to have come into the notion that having a "realistic" character is more important than anything else. More important than having an interesting character, more important than keeping within policy, more important than the emotions of the very real people who play this game. I think it's sick. In my mind there is something seriously wrong with believing five seconds of relative realism in a fictional character is worth greatly upsetting another human being. And anyone who thinks another player's going to enjoy the roleplaying involved in taking something that player worked very hard for needs to have his head examined.

This also goes for using the excuse of "good roleplaying" to justify killing an NPC others are interacting with, or slaughtering invasion critters 20 levels under you. You can call it what you want... just don't use the word "good" to describe it.

I won't even go into the dubious roleplay value in responding to what was obviously a typing mistake. I shall simply conclude that there are more important things than realism, and wrap up this week's statement before I end up saying what I really think.

February 18th

I greatly apologize for the lack of updates the past few weeks. As you may have heard I've had a motley slew of health problems lately, but I am relieved to say I feel much better today. I don't particularly feel like dredging up something to talk about, though, so I think I'll stick with the passion of the month. Poetry, I mean.

The Epis Ode

Two weeks back, sunlight tapped my eye.
Awoken, vexed, I turned aside...
A cracking pain brought forth the whine,
"My sternum's broke! I'm gonna die!"

Resigned to sleeping on my back
I managed till the next attack.
In two days more, my throat felt sore.
"It's not that bad," I said, "Just-" *hack*!

See, I was doomed. I know that now,
But I denied for days somehow.
The next six hours I shook with cold.
"You need a doc." (Pal.) I: "No. Ow!"

I bathed the ugly couch in moans,
A shivering pain from skin to bones.
In winter duds and sleeping bag,
"Still froze," I rasped in dying tones.

I was not left to die in peace.
(I hadn't paid my body's lease.)
En route to bed, I coughed just once,
And crumpled. "DAMN!" Oh, life's caprice!

My sternum was no longer shot;
Of course, dear friends, I knew it not.
I couldn't walk. Or even move.
"My back..." I burbled through my snot.

Three more long days made life a haze;
If lucid, I'd have been amazed.
My nerves! Like wires beneath my skin
"Ripped out each pulse!" I claimed, ablaze.

And then, my back! It bent like tin.
I'd had enough. So I caved in.
They laid me on their fine white bed.
"What's that, ER? ...my closest kin?"

Drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs!
(By now, my mind was slow as slugs.)
What's hydrocodone? Should I care?
"Ooooooooooh... wheelchair..." Nurses watched, with shrugs.

A few days more and I could drive.
That doesn't mean I felt alive!
But yes, I was a bit less dead.
"I shall begin," said I, "to thrive."

And guess what? Reader, you are right!
My bane had not let go its bite.
I found out what it's like to work
("What fun!") on three hours' sleep each night.

Insomnia's a funny thing.
When thoughts run wild, hands twitch, ears ring,
It's hard to know just what's the cause.
I asked, "Flu's wrath, or codone's sting?"

What tricks a tired mind plays, what scares!
Five days, twelve hours' sleep, most in pairs...
I bolted up once, froze in fear
 Because--no lie--"MY NOSE HAS HAIRS!!!"

That's not the kind of thing you tell
To strangers, yeah, but what the hell;
I got eight hours of sleep last night.
I nearly cried. "How am I?"

Well.

March 4th

As I obviously have nothing to say this week, I leave you with this:

[Wehnimer's, Outside Gate]
Citizens, merchants and assorted dregs of society jostle against you before the great wooden gates of Wehnimer's Landing. Harried guards and militiamen try to keep the chaos to a minimum, but it is hard to keep track of those entering, let alone leaving, this large trading post. A dirt path encircling the wooden palisade of the town leads east and southwest. Nailed prominently to the wooden wall beside the gate is a sign you really should read. You also see a nasty little orange gremlin, a red-striped stinger, a nasty little orange gremlin, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a nasty little orange gremlin that appears stunned, a red-striped stinger, a red-striped spinner, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a red-striped stinger, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a nasty little orange gremlin, a red-striped stinger, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a red-striped stinger, the Vistana disk, a nasty little orange gremlin, a nasty little orange gremlin that appears stunned, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a red-striped stinger, a red-striped stinger, the Koja disk, a red-striped stinger, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a nasty little orange gremlin, a red-striped spinner, a nasty little orange gremlin, a red-striped stinger, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, an enormous red-striped deathworm, an enormous red-striped deathworm, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a red-striped spinner, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped stinger, a floating eye that is flying around, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped stinger, a red-striped stinger, an enormous red-striped deathworm, a red-striped stinger, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a rotting fel coffer, an engraved gold chest, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner, a kobold, a red-striped spinner, a red-striped spinner and a wayside inn.
Also here: Lord Khandgar, Atreau, the body of Gatrein who is lying down, the body of Raivella who is lying down, a webbed Koja, Paryus, the body of Lord Darkthought who is lying down, a stunned Quinstol, the body of Lord Xythos who is lying down, the body of Angelmoon who is lying down, the body of Journeyman Duztum who is lying down, the body of Fraest who is lying down, Bermit, the body of Digbee who is lying down, Blackjack, the body of Fiinifter who is lying down, the body of Nayta who is lying down, the body of Quietpik who is lying down, the body of Ghudabul who is lying down, the body of Eriale who is lying down, the body of Wikthorn who is lying down, the body of Ocid who is lying down
Obvious paths: north, east, northwest, southwest.

March 11th

GP II sounds like some sort of optional Lexus feature.

I do have a sorceror character and things don't look so hot there. I can't imagine I'll be overjoyed with the changes to hiding and ambushing either. I don't have very much to say this week either but I did want to mention that despite my usual sunny outlook on the game, I'm nervous too. I won't do anything rash if you won't.

March 18th

I have no explanation for my sudden lack of ego-saturated opinionated diatrabes lately. Write me things and I will put up some guest statements. Do it!!

April 1st

Elanthification is the bestest! Yo daddy whup you if you don't visit this site. Now who's yo daddy?

April 8th

You all were very nearly spared as I was hoping to be away this week, but alas, it was not to be. I am stuck in front of the computer with nothing to do but compose statements of the week endlessly. Endlessly, I tell you.

Fate may smile on you all yet as I'm having the damndest time, once more, thinking of anything worth putting in this space. I don't seem to get angry enough at things anymore. Perhaps I need to eat more red meat. I've toyed with pulling particularly good posts off the boards, but I assume my prime readership also reads the boards and there's a good chance it'll be old material to most of you. I don't know, but assuming never hurt anyone, right?

All right, here's a little statement about assumptions: they're sneaky. Almost all of us have been going into some kind of tizzy upon hearing each of the proposed growing pains changes. I like to think of myself as a reasonable person, but I get silly-nervous too. And some of the posts on the boards have been cyberfits of angst. I feel rather badly. The thing is, very few of us would admit we're making assumptions or jumping to conclusions about how this change or that is going to affect us. But if we're getting so worked up over something we truly can't know the effects of...

That's just silly, I think is the idea, and it means assumptions are coming into play. I see a lot of anxious and upset people. I suppose this is my reminder to myself and others that the energy fear and worry take up is much better spent on things we do know about and can control. If I put half as much energy into roleplaying as I do into worrying, I'd... be at least halfway-decent at it.

April 16th

This week I once again duck out of finding something to talk about, as I bring you a guest statement taken from the boards.

Category Discussions with Simutronics (5)
Topic Suggestions, Comments and Concerns (2)
Message Gemstone III (49610)
By ZEBRA@PLAY.NET
On Apr 15, 2001 at 04:31

I like Gemstone 3. I have enjoyed it for years.

I respect the hell out of every good roleplayer I encounter in Gemstone 3 and I have encountered many. I recognize that certain locations attract bad roleplayers and out-of-character conflict and I choose to avoid them. I like the good roleplaying environments.

I enjoy the spells and mechanics of Gemstone 3. I have played for a long time and I think a lot of the spells are really exciting. I recognize that the game was not designed to support high level characters and concede that if I was a more patient man with more free time that I would be adding to that problem. I know that changes have occured that have badly injured some of the fun of certain professions, but these changes have helped Gemstone 3. I like the changes.

I have tried for years to make Gemstone 3 better in any way I can. I have spread and supported the background and history of the game for roleplaying purposes. I have had my character visit places like the boulder and tried to demonstrate what my own skewed perception of a corrupted character is. I have tried to create a house that will add to the depth of the roleplaying atmosphere on racial levels in the game. I have done my best and I have had a good time. I like roleplaying and adding to the game.

I try to be a good roleplayer and I try to present a believable character. I hope that every time I log in that I give a little something back to Elanthia for helping me to escape when I was going through rough times or just needed a little break from the intensity that is the real world.

One day I'll have to quit playing Gemstone 3. When it happens I will not be quitting with anger or spite. I will always like Gemstone 3 and I respect every Gamemaster and Player who has added to its atmosphere.

To those who do not like Gemstone 3, you're not spoiling my good time. To those who choose not to roleplay, who have made snide remarks to me both in and out of the game, and who seek to take away my fun in the game - you have not done so. I like Gemstone 3.

Silvean's Author

April 22nd

As the Opinionless Wonder remains true to form again this week, time for another guest statement!

Category Role-Playing (4)
Topic Thoughts on Role-Playing (4)
Message Re: Numerology (8961)
By FARQUAR1@PLAY.NET
On Apr 21, 2001 at 12:27

I've gotten two main responses when I've told someone to please try to describe the numbers in an Elanthian way:

1) "So what if it's out of character? I can do whatever I want and you can't stop me!!"

2) "What do you mean, an Elanthian way? I've never played this kind of game before. I don't understand."

Obviously, the second person is the easier to talk to. The first one sounds awful, and at this point I think a lot of people either resort to thumping or ignore the problem altogether.

Some people really do want to do anything they like and see nothing wrong with uttering numbers or asking a friend about the Super Bowl. But I think a bigger problem is what you are not saying, but the erring youngster may be hearing. Some people are hypersensitive to criticism, and they hear all sorts of correlaries to what you say. For instance, here is a typical conversation. NOTE: This is a more or less a combination of numerous conversations of this nature.

ThusAndSo says to Anybody, "My AS is 150 but my DS is only 40."

You whisper to ThusAndSo, "Would you mind putting that in Elanthia terms? The numbers really don't fit in ordinary Elanthian conversation."

ThusAndSo hears: She's putting me down. She's telling me I don't know how to talk, that I'm too dumb to know how to play this game. Hell, I'm <fill in the blank> trainings old, I can do what I want at this point!

ThusAndSo whispers, "It's only a game. Get over it."

You whisper, "That's what I mean. You the player know this is a game. ThusAndSo doesn't--this is the world he was born in. And he doesn't know about OOC things like game mechanics."

ThusAndSo whispers, "Well, I'm roleplaying that he does!! Anyway they talk like this on the amunet all the time, so I can do whatever I want."

You whisper, "The amunet is not a stellar example of roleplaying."

ThusAndSo whispers, "What's stellar?

ThusAndSo whispers, "I really don't appreciate getting harassed by you. I come here to have fun with my friends."

You whisper, "Right, I understand. I just want you to please take the time not to interfere with others' fun. And some people--a lot of them--like to maintain the illusion that Elanthia is a separate world."

ThusAndSo says, "That's nuts."

You whisper, "No, that's part of roleplaying. Tell me about your character. Where was he born? Who are his parents? Why did he become a warrior?"

ThusAndSo whispers, "Is that in the character manager?"

You whisper, "No."

ThusAndSo sneers.

ThusAndSo says, "Then how do you know any of that stuff, like where your character was born?"

You whisper, "Please whisper. And you make it up. Like making up a story."

<The invariable response>

ThusAndSo says, "But I'm no GOOD at English!"

You whisper, "Who said you had to be? You just have to make up something. Tell me you've never watched an episode of your favorite and thought of a way you could have made the episode better. Tell me that you've never told your friends a ghost story...and embellished it a little."

ThusAndSo whispers, "Well, yeah...

You whisper, "If you can do that, you can make up a rough background for your character and act it out. And one of the things that your person wouldn't know is how a computer game works."

ThusAndSo says, "Why NOT?!!"

You whisper, "Well, for one thing, Elanthia doesn't have computers. They haven't even discovered the light bulb yet."

ThusAndSo frowns.

ThusAndSo says, "Well, I just wanted to tell a friend of mine how good I can fight, and I dunno how to do that without numbers."

You whisper, "Describe it. Tell him that your attack is about as good as that of a krolvin warrior, or a little better than a vereri's, but that your defense is little better than a kobold's."

ThusAndSo winces.

ThusAndSo says, "The numbers sound better."

You whisper, "But I think the descriptions are a bit clearer."

ThusAndSo whispers, "I thought you wuz dissin' me at first."

You whisper, "No, I just want everyone to enjoy the game. You can't enjoy getting chewed out 24/7 for talking about numbers in public."

ThusAndSo whispers, "Lotsa people get bossy and mad."

ThusAndSo whispers, "I hate that."

ThusAndSo whispers, "I guess I could TRY..."

Of course, a lot of people get mad, stomp off, or unleash a flood of vituperation in your direction. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I guess the best thing to do is NOT to assume that number-spouter is doing this knowing that it is an irritant. Odds are, he or she just doesn't know any better...yet.

Nofret

April 29th

The boards are a mess. That's a shame, because they have such potential. Continuing in my spiral into inspirationlessness, my statement of the week is short today: I know there are a lot of idiots on the boards who undoubtably deserve sarcasm and slamming. There are, however, things out there more important than giving an idiot what he deserves. We deserve a forum free of mudslinging where we can have meaningful discussions. Next time you see an idiot make an inflammatory post, resist the urge to give him what for. How important is slamming someone who does something silly, anyway? It feels good... and we're getting nowhere. Don't feed the trolls. But don't throw rocks at them, either.

May 6th

If you've been following the dragging roundtime thread on the big board, you may have heard me say I agreed we didn't need to make helping people harder. But that statement runs contrary to my support of making fogging more difficult. At least, it would seem to.

I don't want to clutter the boards with it so I think I'll explain myself here. My statement that I didn't want to make helping people harder was too broad, or too narrow, I'm not sure which. What I want, of course, is a game where people help each other and are courteous in other respects too. And I believed fogging made it too easy to rescue; that is, so easy that it created a vulturing problem and made blacklisting even more, uh, impossible than before. It made the world more impersonal. When helping others is too quick and easy and provides a neat route to experience and cash... we have people "helping" for the wrong reasons, and the act inches closer to a business transaction.

Dragging is difficult, requires more time and danger on the part of the rescuer, and rarely provides the opportunity to gain experience or silver. A dragger has to make a personal commitment and often a sacrifice, for little gain other than a person's thanks. It's an unfortunate equation, but it does exist: the easier and more rewarding (in terms of cash or some other concrete gain) it is to help someone, the less like help and the more like business it becomes. The harder it is to help someone, and the less concrete reward there is, the greater the unquantifiable rewards of friendship and goodwill.

All that puts us in a quandary. We don't want to decay in the game, but we want an atmosphere of goodwill and personal connections. It's tough to find the right balance; to know just how hard in what ways we should make rescuing people, in order to keep "helping" from becoming a business while assuring that people do in fact get help. When I said I didn't want to make helping harder, I should rather have said: where people want to help for the sake of helping others, where they are already making sacrifices to do so, I do not wish to add a further burden.

May 14th

I'm becoming increasingly weary of the atmosphere on the boards; or more specifically, with posters' lack of desire to work for what they say they want, that being a better atmosphere. An atmosphere in which to get ideas heard is not effected by being nasty right back to someone who dealt the first blow. I once again humbly request we all turn the other cheek... and I'll try to make that the last I say on the topic for some time.

Ten Positive Things You Can Do for the Lands Right Now

10. Remember how magical the lands were your first few weeks. That's it. Just remember.

9. Flesh out your character further. Write a history, place her in hypothetical situations, run her through a personality test.

8. Seek out a new player. Take them hunting, chat with them, teach them etiquette; anything at all.

7. Start a philosophical discussion on the amunet.

6. Help the next person you hear ask for help. If you can't provide the service or information they need, find them someone who can. Boost their faith in the world.

5. Travel to another town. Ask the residents to tell you what they love about it.

4. Spend 15 minutes in Helga's or the cul-de-sac being a good example.

3. Write up a story or guide to submit to a GS website.

2. Plan out your own GS website.

1. Give credit where credit is due. Whisper to someone what a great job they're doing. Post a golden kobold. Thank the GMs for a change you enjoyed. Remind your friends why you like them. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

May 20th

I don't even have much to say on the new soft cap, so here's a little thing that twirks me. I think correcting others' grammar and spelling is incredibly tacky, and I'm going to be a moron and do it anyway. After all, keeping things inside isn't healthy!

1. Affect, the verb - to influence; also, to put on a show of (among many other definitions)

2. Affect, the noun - the conscious aspect of an emotion

3. Effect, the noun - the result; also, a movable belonging (among many other definitions)

4. Effect, the verb - to bring about

The rain affected my effects badly, effecting an affect of discouragement in my mind and an effect of dampness in my wardrobe, but I was forced to affect cheeriness for the sake of appearances.

(This is a sentence that should never, ever be written again.)

I think these catch everybody at one point or another when they're out there writing their posts. That's the other big killer, by the way, along with the apostrophe; it's a rare person who doesn't succumb to its difficulties.

I don't *mind* spelling and grammar errors per se. They don't hurt me, and I'll always acknowledge someone could have a disability or know English as a second language. I just like to see words used correctly, and I couldn't resist!

And oh, while I'm at it... definItely.

May 27th

I apologize for the lack of updates recently. I've been having some problems accessing my spot with AOL lately, and it's led to some delays. But here without further ado is some kind of update.

June 3rd

I'm going to cheat you again and simply reprint a post I made in the Elven Nations folder:

I've posted in the past that aside from invasions, the magic/wonder has gone out of the lands for me. Well, it's back!

I had a WONDERFUL time getting to Ta'Illistim, and I still am.

It's amazing, I wasn't looking forward to the EN expansion at all. I've never really enjoyed exploring. But maybe I never felt like a real explorer before. I did the other night. It was great thinking I might be the very first player to set foot in some of those rooms.

I had said I wanted to make the trip with my friends from the Rest, and I did start out that way, but I grew impatient with all the crowds and the scroll and wandered off by myself (sorry guys!).

I got ahead of the crowds by twice happening to see Sassee take a path that I'd missed, and soon I was at the ferry docks with about 30 other people. We felt like we were way ahead of everyone else! And maybe we were. Oh, how cruel, to say you're on a ferry and not tell anyone how to get there. But I did.

And I ran and ran, room descriptions be damned, I'm gonna be one of the first people to get somewhere for once, and whoa... huge mess of people in this room. I saw a rope. Aha, I've found the way out and no one else has! Needless to say I fell in the river, washed up on shore lying down and stunned with nothing in my hands, right in front of three hungry boars. I would have died if Randsford (?) hadn't come by and unstunned me.

Considering I had ran past dead people (though none alone) without stopping to see if they needed help, it would have been a particularly apt fate for me to die, but I was lucky.

I waited at that rope for a long time. To my surprise I was having a blast though. I too figured it was just a test of how well we'd work together, and we did work together, sort of. For a while. After I was there for half an hour or so I sort of hunkered down and accepted I might be there for a few more. My Voln friends fogging off looked like they felt slightly guilty, but they didn't let that stop them. Finally Sammeal reassured me that I too could secret-power my way out, so I did.

I found Mnar and dragged him around for a while... we were briefly lost in a maze... and then we got to the ladder when there was only about half a screen of people. A relief to hear it was going faster and that all the snerts were still stuck at the rope.

Deenada recites:

"Marietta next"

>l
[Dead Plateau, Rope Ladder]
The Dead Plateau stretches out as far as the eye can see to the west, southwest, south and southeast in a long, cold, perfectly level expanse of solid rock. It would be easy to navigate by the sun and strike out in one of the directions except for the presence of yawning, jagged crevices running as untamed lightning across the plateau's interior. One crevice extends to the plateau's edge, cutting off travel to the west and leaving the only passable direction along the edge to the southeast. You also see a white owl, a raven that is flying around, a falcon who is lying down, the Swetelove disk, a field mouse who is sitting, a badly damaged mithril strongbox, a horned frog, the Abelrahr disk, a bright-eyed tawny lemur who is sitting, an urgh hide, a dark stick, the Juliane disk, the Tordane disk, a field mouse who is sitting, a flask of aged Reiver whisky, a flask of aged Reiver whisky, an urgh hide, a horned frog who is sleeping, the Lazalye disk, the Wizip disk, the Valdarrow disk, a white cat who is sitting, a white owl and a thick rope ladder.
Also here: Lady Nithili, Neiklot, Pakpak, Lord Axlenll, Yourge, Lord Aemergin, Carren, Lord Khirasah, Lady Lissa, Lady Tiarzah, Lady Karmah, Junis, Swetelove, Brikus, Fender, Nelir, Traipse, Lord Towerhelm, Lady Philadelphus, Lord Wertymen, Daxal, Lord Breakline who is seated, Lady Tamala, Lord Junsen, Zinzimir, Lady Palfin, Rosekiss, Lord Abelrahr, Lord Sunzu who is kneeling, Trasone, Journeyman Heimdaler, Zedicous, Lord Braxus, Lady Aliandre, Lady Razerlips, Lord Gervant, Lord Teclys, Hammibal, Dracten, Lady Arathorne, Shinoo, Lord Vorctal, Jubaal, Lady Shylore, Lord Hrvac, Avalor, Fesig, Lady Furalia, Lord Pyrates, Raezer, Winslar, Traylyn, Lord Havock, Lady Quintena, Zorkell, Aslar, Prospera, Lokroth who is seated, Lady Trini who is seated, Lord Krovax, Wutaki, Wakim, Hickston, Lady Scheree, Jakkarra, Lord Merxas, Lord Rozle, Lady Larenusia, Lord Semtexx, Lady Ghostcri, Kaekilius, Angellus, Lord Theradose, Kamalot, Abeha, Yagan, Dzib, Mythrandyr, Lord Shidain, Lady Juliane who is seated, Lord Tordane who is seated, Nodread, Prestius, Flettch, Drauz, Lady Mikare, Thunderbolt, Cyclope, Achrus, Valuria, Lady Celeina, Lady Hilaire, Journeyman Hakwea, Lord Atlanteax, Legaris, Lady Cattriona, Rern, Lord Nindy who is seated, Lord Clintmire, Tillmen, Sammeal, Herachio, Lord Grogg, Contesserina, Wyseth, Olokur, Lazalye, Wizip, Trevalyn, Tarakan, Bronnwyn, Valdarrow, Lord Gbobb, Dragoncall, Rhad, Lord Yaemon, Lord Doltan who is kneeling, Merlock who is seated, Lady Nephrenia, Lady Haelra, Lady Lavinnia, Lord Truekillr who is seated, Rhii, Lord Rotsaver, Lord Kharhazz, Telum, Maleki, Wadsworth who is seated, Lord Zacciwie, Lord Brutkc, Ravonprayer, Carthax, Lord Rabenwolf, Lady Caylene, Morgynn, Amee, Lord Delgoth, Icerolose, Lord Methais, Zylous, Mnar, Sepher, Nahc, Saberwolv, Drallen, Lady Gialynn, Lady Evialla, Germinal, Monax, Lord Shirkon, Lord Geijon, Lady Reine, Lady Deenada, Artiminus, Rongari, Lord Vurkanaan, Lugubrious, Lord Brison, Lord Omnipitant, Lady Skylai, Lord Guwain, Lord Sergey, Lady Marietta
Obvious paths: southeast.
>
Nindy says, "Welcomes to 'ell"

I was beginning to yearn to be in a town, at the end of my journey. An hour later, some friends who'd been stuck at the rope finally arrived.

Armaxis whispers, "NOOOOOOOOO!"

As it was getting close to my turn, people were telling me to go southeast and be hasted, so I did. Then I came back to find I still had quite a ways to go yet. I was at the end of the line again. I think Mnar was more horrified than I was, because when I gave him his 1k toll I'd been holding for him, he hugged me like he'd never see me again. Thankfully Nindy, who was directing traffic by then, realized my predicament and let me re-take my place.

Then I was all alone on the ladder. The view was exquisite.

When I finally got to the bottom I said, "Good gods." I couldn't help myself. I'm betting half of you said the same thing.

I ran to some enclave in the mountains. I found a dwarf, but he didn't seem to know anything I asked him about. I bought a ticket and had a mine cart all to myself. The net was nice and quiet. I relaxed a lot then, just sat and chatted a little while I rode. I felt good.

The dwarven town in the mountains fascinated me. We wandered for a bit (those lizards have been named Jusperites, uh, not by myself of course, but I'll forgive you if you don't call them that) and sold some things at the pawn for more money, got lost, got unlost, chatted with a dwarven page of some kind, then hopped onto another cart.

That was a fun ride. Towerhelm was pushing against the walls to try to get it to go faster. People were bouncing up and down. Mnar declared it was more fun if you held your arms in the air on the downslopes. It was all I could do to keep from puking but I enjoyed myself.

The next outpost in the mountains was beautiful. I was slightly disappointed when it was pointed out to me that that was elk meat, not elf meat, on the menu in that tavern, but I'll live. I really felt like I was in an outpost in some snowy coniferous mountains, er, which I was, but I felt it moreso than in Pinefar. Beautiful.

When I first walked into that little maze in the caverns, I noticed a roa'ter skin on the ground. DOH! Trapped in a maze with roa'ters! It wasn't until later I realized it was a much-needed marker to find our way out. Which took a few minutes, but the scout is crafty.

We were briefly lost near the promontory too. But man, that echo is something else. All the way down in that beautiful forest, I could hear idiots screaming idiotic things at the top of their lungs. It was gorgeous, in an idiotic kind of way.

We got sidetracked onto Sylvarraend road, but when we finally made it to town, what a relief! And then being lost, lost, lost in town for hours... blasted inns won't let me in... which is all the more galling because I'm not so fond of my race, you know. Blasted... I hate dark elves too, let me in! I had to tweak the nose of that elven aristocrat. He deserved it.

Finally, compelled by an outburst of competetiveness, I started mapping the town. Wow! I'd never mapped before, and I was alarmed at how much pure fun I had doing it. It's amazing seeing a town take shape before your eyes, and then being able to jog around with ease when nobody else knows where they're going.

When I went to bed, I was exhausted.

Juspera

Thank you, thank you, thank you to the GMs. I don't like every little thing, but what I do like far outweighs what I don't. I've been spending way too much time at the computer, staying up till 5 in the morning, going without food. This is nuts. Can't wait to see what I'll find next!

Thank you to Lissa, Deenada, Nindy and Wadsworth for providing organizational and monetary aid along the trail. Give these four a big hand.

Thanks to my RR pals for being as fun and understanding as ever, and to those I traveled with and waited with for being so mature, adventurous, kind, and part of what made this so much fun.

Thanks to Mnar for being a fun traveling companion and for the exclusive maps which may be found on Juspera's Good Ole GS3 Page: http://members.aol.com/zilal/gemhome.html.

Well, I'm off to have a blast again. See you in the game!

J

June 10th

Amidst the boards brouhaha that followed a popular character's lockout over bug abuse, a number of players raised the concern that those who deliberately take advantage of other characters in item transactions should receive heavier penalties than those who abuse bugs, but were not finding greater punishments.

I don't know whether they are or not, and I will never have that information, but I have a few ideas on whether they should.

The offensive acts in question involved running off with an item a player had only meant the offender to hold temporarily, or had placed temporarily on the ground. While it's true there's no excuse for doing such a thing, and the offender and the act certainly aren't good for the game, I completely disagree with the sentiment that GMs should be expected to get the item back for us and lock the offender out. Nor do I think they should step in in such a manner in the case of scams. Certainly a player who repeatedly scams or runs off with items given him in good faith is a problem player and should be dealt with, but these players should not be treated more harshly than one who abuses a bug.

Why? For starters, bug abuse is against policy; taking items on the ground, Thrak warning or no, is not. Should it be? I don't think so. To have someone "steal" an item you hand them or place on the ground, you have to do just that: hand it to them or place it on the ground. There is never any abject need to do this. We are warned items on the ground are up for grabs, we know that strangers can be untrustworthy. If we choose to endanger our items anyway, on what basis do we call in the GMs? "I know I shouldn't do this and I didn't have to but I did it anyway, but can you please lock out the other guy"? Same with scams. Every item can be tested. No one can take advantage of us unless we allow it.

Calling in the GMs in such a situation casts them in the role of babysitter, one we all agree we don't want them to occupy.

June 24th

I've been having an awful time lately saving new material to the AOL servers, thus the lack of updates. My apologies. Please, I invite everyone to read and reread the one snippet of new material this week over and over to sate your frenzied craving for GemStone humor.

July 1st

It's my birthday today. It is also Canada day. I would use this opportunity to further raise American awareness of Canada and Canadian issues, but my Canadian friend says they all hate us anyway, so I think we should just forget the friendship thing and start plotting how best to buy out Saskatchewan and drill for oil. You can't win 'em all. Anyway, my birthday is more important.

I'm afraid to go look at the boards. Is that thread about critters who are able to search you still going on? I couldn't bring myself to participate. For me, it's an issue of... if I'm that worried about losing my equipment, I either won't bring my good equipment there or I won't hunt there. I just cannot bring myself to take seriously any concern that Simu is an evil entity bent on ruining our gaming experience, that once they introduce this one beast, what is to stop them from introducing more? By jove, what stands between Simu and world domination? Is nothing sacred? How will we enjoy our God-given right to play GemStone with this rampaging monster called Simutronics on the loose?

All right, so it's a small, small minority that is bonkers with laughable paranoia about one small company, staffed largely by volunteers, that runs a very nice MUD. But there are more than three people keeping this damned thread alive. I will acknowledge that perhaps I am insensitive, but I cannot see what the big deal is. If you don't want to lose items, don't hunt there. And if this one item-grabbing critter somehow creates so much PvP potential that the game as a whole suffers, I don't see why the GMs will want to keep it around any more than we would. They did, after all, remove item droppage on death for that reason. Let's give the darn thing a chance.

I admit to more guffaws than true distress when I read people saying, "What's keeping Simu from introducing more critters like this in the future? Their word?" This paranoia is too extreme to be taken seriously. But I will use the opportunity to speak out about another pet peeve of mine: the concept of the "slippery slope" and its use in arguments.

The slippery slope idea states that once a precedent is set for something, it becomes increasingly easy and likely that more of the same will occur in increasing degree. This is the main argument by which the NRA whips its members into a frenzy of opposition to common-sense gun control measures.

I would like to say a sensible person would be hard pressed to argue that a background check before the purchase of any gun, including guns at gun shows, would be a bad thing. But the NRA argues exactly that, on the premise that if the government imposes this slight inconvenience in the way of purchasing a firearm, it starts us down a slippery slope of imposing greater and greater restrictions on our freedoms. The view says that somehow, background checks to screen out criminals starts an unstoppable ball rolling toward confiscation of everyone's guns. After all, what's to stop the government from implementing more and more restrictive measures until no one in America is allowed to own a gun? Their word?

How about common sense? How about the fact that -- while this may be hard to believe for some NRA members or GS players -- the government doesn't want to take away everyone's guns, nor does Simu want to implement lots of body-searching critters? I have a very hard time understanding the mindset of those who view the government (or Simutronics) as a vast conspiracy that wants the exact opposite of what its constituents do, and perhaps that's to my discredit. But I will save a discussion on the view of groups of human beings as "other" for a later day, and return to the slippery slope.

The slippery slope is a fallacy because it attaches far more importance to precedence than precedence actually occupies. The idea of new (increasingly larger) measure being easier to enact and more likely to be enacted than the last -- simply because the last exists -- is bogus. It ignores massive differences between stages of the supposed downward slope. (Screening out criminals is qualitatively different from requiring registration for law-abiding citizens.) It ignores the actual aim the enacting party desires, it ignores opposition and the true nature of cultural inertia. Considering how near-impossible it would be to pass through congress a measure to even require licensing for all handguns, let alone mass handgun confiscation, it's clear the slope is angled rather sharply in the opposite direction and if it's at all slippery, the tendency is to slide backward toward the status quo. That is where the gravity is.

This goes for almost all issues, not just gun control. When studies point to marijuana's having no greater ill effects than those of alcohol, legalization is sometimes opposed on the sole argument that it will lead to legalization of more dangerous drugs. Cloning of animals is seen as unacceptable by some only because it may "open the door" to human cloning. Causation is one thing, and proof that a measure will cause a certain result makes a powerful argument. Suggesting that a measure will set a precedent and thus a chain of similar undesirable unstoppable measures in motion makes a weak one, and ignores qualitative differences between steps on the "slope" as well as all of our desires, intentions and plain old human will.

July 15th

I just couldn't think of anything to talk about, once again. I don't get as upset by things as I used to. Part of getting old, I guess. So I am going to be cheap and repost something of mine from the boards, with additions.

We had been talking about the frustration of playing a Halfling in a game where other characters refuse to take the race seriously to such a degree that the players of said race are not taken seriously either. When your role is cast for you as the butt of a joke, you are given little room to maneuver or participate in an RP scene.

Racism is a wonderful RP tool, but racism does not equal RP. What's unfortunate is that large numbers of people seem to think it does.

Racism that is grounded in the personality of the character, that has reasons, that is part of the character's development, that is expressed in a fashion that welcomes the participation of its targets, that is meant to entertain and draw others in rather than shut them out... is good RP.

Racism that has no basis in the personality of the character, has no place in the character's development, that exists for no discernable reason other than that everyone else is doing it, that is expressed in a fashion that makes its targets props or punchlines of jokes rather than active participants in the roleplay -- and that persists despite its creating a frustrating rather than enriching roleplaying environment for other players of the game -- is poor RP.

Don't cast other characters in roles of your choosing when you roleplay. Respond to each as a unique character, pay attention to who they are, and tailor your roleplay to that, not to common convention. Before you engage in something you think is sharp or hilarious, consider whether the other person might not have gotten same exact thing from everyone else they encountered. Give others good material to react to. The best roleplayers are those who hand others something they can run with and expand on, not corner them into a roleplaying dead end.

August 12th

For those of you who missed my guestbook entry (which I'm assuming is most of you... who checks the guestbook on every visit?), a couple weeks ago I injured my back badly and am just getting to the point where I can sit up for reasonable periods at a stretch. Unfortunately I don't have access to my own computer right now, which means my web editing software... such as it is... is inaccessible, as is most of the material I'd be using to update the page. I could conceivably do a small update with recent submissions to my mailbox and editing the HTML of all pages by hand, but that's such a pain I don't think it's worth it right now. With any luck things will be back to semi-normal soon and things will get better.

In memory of September 11th

No words
Will ever touch
The horror of this Fall
(Let silence reign)
We thought we knew of pain
We never knew it much
At all

August 26th

Hello again from the bowels of hell. Hurrah, my back is mostly better and I am back to playing, though it may be a long time before I can do any proper updates to the page.

This week I had a fan track me down where I was resting alone (in what I'd hoped was an out-of-the-way place) to express his appreciation of my page. I was fairly short with him. And Juspera is, after all, often grouchy. But I want to make it clear that while I dislike intrusion and am not always in the greatest of moods (especially lately), I do wholeheartedly enjoy and adore any positive comments about the work I've done. Stalking may be an expression of fandom a bit too enthused for me to appreciate, but don't be afraid to think to me or approach if you do run into me. For an introverted grump, I try to be approachable most of the time. Having someone stop me around town to comment on my page brightens my day. Your submissions, your visitations and your praise are sustaining.

And if I'm snippy with you too, you can start the Anti-Juspera page. Then I'll really be famous.

September 30th

Okay. Here's what happened.

This summer I was running out of money, and I had begun a search for a job more reliable than on-again, off-again housekeeping and pet sitting. Time was running out. I had my eye on a particular web assistant position with nice benefits at a local company, a rare fit for my skills and experience. By July 29th I was awaiting word.

That day, as I finished up a cat sitting visit, I was stopped at the door by a bout of sneezing. On the last sneeze I pulled something in my back, the very lower part I've been injuring since I was thirteen, but the pain was nothing more than a couple days' rest and curtailed activity couldn't cure. I drove home in minor discomfort, cooked up a dinner of rice and beans and set myself on the deck to eat it, a National Geographic spread in front of me.

I soon became aware that the white plastic deck chair was going to be impossible to get comfortable in in my state, and debated going back inside to a healthier chair or perhaps even trying to eat lying down. But inertia reigned, and I decided to tough it out and finish up where I was. When I was finished eating, standing and carrying my plate and magazine back inside were difficult. But I shuffled inside and lay down to indulge in some television. I watched Thunderheart on TBS. The first part, anyway.

As it got dark it came time to feed my own cat. My brother, working in the area over the summer and still a couple weeks away from having to head back to college in Idaho, was by and I briefly considered asking him to feed the cat. But I am loathe to bother others. I squatted very carefully to get a cupfull of cat food from the closet, stood very carefully, went onto the deck and again squatted carefully and successfully placed the food in the dish. As I was about to leave I thought I ought to refill the poor creature's water dish as well, and I picked that up and stood again carefully... or tried to. Suddenly my back gave out, as they say, and I collapsed on the deck in tremendous pain.

Almost immediately I started shivering. It wasn't a cold night, but chilly enough, and I was wearing only a t-shirt and bicycle shorts and pressed against the cool wood. My shivering became almost convulsive and I chattered intermittently. It made it impossible to relax and my back remained in a painfully seized state. I was at a loss, not panicky but aware this was a fix of a nasty degree.

Inch by inch I shifted my body toward the door, but how to get up the slight step and inside was still beyond me. Despite my high school drama teacher's efforts I am poor at projection. I have never mastered shouting. I called for my brother but my voice couldn't reach him where he was dozing inside. Over the next fifteen minutes, between bouts of convulsive shivering, I slithered to within a few feet of the door. But I knew that short of a miracle I would never be able to lift myself the few inches necessary to enter that warm rectangle.

For the next ten minutes I yelled. I wondered what the neighbors must have thought. At least I had neighbors. I could envision myself breaking down an hour from now, stooping to the embarrassment of yelling "FIRE!" and seeing if anyone would come. But finally my brother woke and responded. Neither of us knew what to do. I had him bring me ibuprofen; though it would take some time to work, all the better to start soon. He had the idea of placing me on the ironing board as a stretcher and we did this. He dragged me into the house and tilted the thing up at an angle so I could haul myself into the bed.

I lay on my back with my knees bent. The muscles were in such a state I could not even lift one leg up from its position more than an inch. There was little food to be had but he brought me some store brand hamburger buns, water and milk. The pain in my back was quite bearable then, as long as I didn't move. I watched the end of Thunderheart, forlorn I had missed the middle. I slept fine.

The next morning I got a call. It was the company I'd sent my resume to, and my resume, such as it is, had impressed them. They wanted to see me. I explained about my back, and the woman I spoke with was most kind. She was eager to have me in. She would wait for me. Just give them a call when I was better, that's all.

The delay was a pain, but there was tolerance. The back injury was bad but I've been suffering episodes for years, and none was ever a catastrophe. But fate, manifested in my next phone call, was against me.

I shall have to be deliberately vague at this point in the story as I've no wish to speak too ill of specific others in this forum. A close family member, the person most in a position to help me, not only let me down but launched a shocking attack and still isn't something I can quite believe. I will say that she was already dealing with her own troubles, but I would have accepted a lack of aid with all the grace I could. Perhaps I even expected that, given the situation. I did not expect what support had been already promised in the past to be rescinded, snatched back. I had already lost my means to walk; now I had lost the established foundation on which I had planned to slither.

All the times I've hurt my back -- through coughing too hard, through sneezing, through leaping to see if I could touch the underside of the portico, through falling clumsily out of a handstand -- I never once did it on purpose, and I never once did it in order to make someone else's life harder. That's for the record.

I haven't a friend within an hour and a half's drive, and I'm not one who generally gets on well with her family. But I had no choice now but to let myself be taken away to spend an uncomfortable week recuperating with a relative. By week's end I could stand and walk with some effort, and I returned home.

The following Monday I got a hold of the company so enamored of me. They were sorry. They had hired someone else.

No paycheck, no apartment. I had a week to find somewhere to stay and to move all my belongings. I couldn't even bend to tie my shoes. But I was alone and I painfully tried to pack my boxes. I felt a sneeze coming. I tried to stop it but fate (we know) was against me. Feeling out the resulting pain, I thought I had set my recovery back two or three days. More delay before I could return to interviews. I was able to arrage for a friend to come down and help me with the packing and moving boxes, for which I was grateful. We had time to pack up everything but my computer and some assorted other items and move them into a relative's basement.

In a few days my back had reached a point where I could lift and pack my computer, which would await a trip by truck to its destination, even though I still could not sit or stand for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Standing, in fact, felt quite strange but I couldn't figure out why. Someone else finally pointed out to me that I was leaning. My spine was crooked.

I had pulled it out of alignment on that last sneeze.

I have no insurance. I had no idea exactly what was wrong with me or how or when or if it would get better, or, for that matter, where the hell I was going to live or work. Each day was bleaker than the last. The soonest I could get an appointment to see a doctor was in three weeks. I didn't even think about where I would get the $200 they wanted. And I was cut off from my support. No phone service, no internet of course, no ability to drive further than fifteen minutes away. My mood was not good.

A good thing did happen. A couple days after I made the appointment, I woke early in the morning to a crunching feel in my lower back. Had my spine realigned on its own? I didn't want to hope because I didn't want to be disappointed. Tentatively I flexed, stretched, finally stood... to see I was still crooked. The disappointment was crushing.

Luckily it didn't last. Over the next day I realized my spine had assumed some normalcy but the muscles were still getting straightened out. As I moved my miserable self to a relative's to resume recuperation and job hunting, my back was getting better.

But my mood had not improved as much as one could hope. My troubles were wearing me down and as I have said, I do not get on well with my family. And I am uncomfortable in others' space no matter who they are. After a week or so, I couldn't take it anymore. Anything was better than this atmosphere.

I spent the next two weeks in my car. This has, of course, some drawbacks -- I didn't discover the news about the September 11th tragedy until after the event, for one -- and I won't go into the whole sordid adventure, but it was heaven next to my previous arrangements. But what small cash I had left was nearly gone, and the weather was becoming cold. I gave in and went to stay with one of my distant friends, forsaking for the moment my search for gainful employment.

Something had to be done with my cat. The poor thing had been living outside my former residence, but with someone else moving into the place, it was time to figure out what to do with the guy. Thankfully it was consented to put up both myself and the cat in the same basement where my belongings were being stored. I moved in.

The next day, I decided I might as well set up my computer and get some work done. So I set it up and turned it on. It was oddly sluggish. I fiddled around and inspected some files, which seemed fine, but I was irritated by the sluggishness and thought perhaps if I restarted, things would be straightened out.

I never saw those files again.

Four hours later the world had narrowed to a pinprick of typing and anguish. I had backups, of course -- of the most important things. All the megabytes of only-sort-of-important data stored on my hard drive were stranded... which included my GS files. My computer, despite half a decade of age, had been about as steady a Windows machine as you'd see, and had been working fine the last time I saw it, but it failed. All I can think is that the truck ride over had not been kind to it.

If only. If only I'd been paranoid enough to back up everything at the first sign of sluggishness. If only I had taken the computer over in my car myself. If only I hadn't hurt my back. If only I had money, had that job. Had a place to live. If only I hadn't hurt my back. If only it hadn't been THEN, when I most needed to be well.

I am not impractical. I knew things would never have been perfect. Maybe not even very good. But oh, it's enough to make you wish. These have been a very hard couple of months.

Not all was lost. Some time ago a computer had been promised me by someone who was no longer in need of it, and now I collected. I went into my old computer via DOS and tried likely commands (I know many things, but DOS isn't one), figuring out how to view the intact directories and copy some material onto floppy disks, to be transferred to the new computer. Some files were too large and must be lost. Some had already been lost through my frantic reinstallations of Windows and through the spreading hard drive corruption. I lost all the material I had yet to sift through and discard or edit for the website or save for posterity, some 50 files of fine logs and submissions, among other things. I hope you can forgive me.

I did manage to save my folder of logs I had already sorted, hundreds of memories. (Except for one named "limbs" that I accidentally deleted instead of copying, though I'm sure, by the title, it was an evening of Juspera being abused and thus will be replayed many times in the future.) When I first grasped the idea that all my sort-of-important data could be lost, the logs were perhaps the most sort-of-important data I could think of and the idea of their loss saddened me the most. That might not be saying much considering the dross filling the old computer, but it does mean something.

Anyway, I have acquired a place to live for now (that is not in someone else's basement or den). My back is good. And now I have a 56k modem! My website will be updated at 166% the speed it was before!

Well, not really.

October 22nd

My time spent over August and September without access to the game definitely drove home for me how much a part of my routine playing GemStone was, how I was used to having that to do on quiet evenings, just having it there. I'd been away from GS for longer periods in the past, but that was by choice. This time outside forces kept me from it at a time when I was really enjoying myself.

I have always shied away from admitting too much fondness for GS, because of the stigma and stereotype of the unhappy netizen who drowns his sorrows in online pursuits, "unable to face the real world." You can't afford to sound too appreciative of an online computer game... can't mention you play it almost every night, can't say you'd rather do that than go out and get drunk, can't speak of the people you've met who have turned into real friends offline. (I can only guess where having a 150-page website dedicated to the game fits into all this.) Disapproval lurks. And anyway, maybe you really are a pathetic nutcase. Why would you want to advertise that?

Well, I'm glad I can play GS again. I am glad I can play for 5 hours a day, and 10 on weekends, dammit, and plan my next character or alteration when I can't, and keep useless huge folders of semi-amusing logs, and eat at the computer, and laugh out loud, and IM sidesplitting crap that happened in the game to my confused friends. When I count my blessiings, they're in there.

October 28th

You've likely heard about Microsoft's next Flight Simulator being delayed so they can remove the World Trade Center from the game version of New York. They even plan to provide a patch for old games to remove the towers. Other games are being delayed for the same reason, or because they feature terrorism or Afghanistan in some way, as have movies and television episodes.

Is it just me, or is this plum silly?

I'm glad that, after the tragedy, the entertainment industry reevaluated their products. But I think removing references to anything having to do with terrorism, the twin towers and Afghanistan is ridiculous. If they're going to change anything, it ought to be the flippant treatment of violence and death in games and other media... not simple references to "sensitive" issues. (If anything, movies or shows dealing with this issue are more valuable at this time, not less.) And I dare say the removal of the WTC from games/shows/movies being prepared from release is going to make the viewers sadder, or offend them more, than leaving the towers in. I know a large degree of concern is simply for offending audiences or advertisers. But who is going to boycott a game or pull advertising from a show because it features a landmark we might get a little misty over? Sensitivity is good, but not when it's mindless.

November 4th

I'm a huge proponent of fairness. Maybe I just like taking the moral high road. Never give people a good reason to distrust you, right? (They'll still distrust you for stupid reasons, but why make it worse than it is?) The concept of fairness came up a couple times on the boards in the past week. In the first instance, supposedly, player A had made the request that player B not roleplay with her anymore. Player B complied, after which player A was overheard taunting B on the net while B was dead.

Now, obviously the first player hadn't signed anything saying "'Do not roleplay with me' means 'we do not exist to each other.'" But it's in terrible poor faith to secure a promise from someone that they'll no longer harass you, then proceed to insult their name in as public a fashion as possible. If you ask someone not to insult you and they're gracious enough to agree, it behooves you not to turn around and insult them, to their face or otherwise.

We're not talking about what somebody else might "have coming," or about what's within your rights, or what's the most fun. Just integrity.

Now, for a more lighthearted matter... with another thread I had the opportunity to think about fairness in a roleplaying contest; more specifically, knowing when to let the other guy win. It's an important part of playing a character others enjoy RPing with. I remember playing make believe with the other kids, and after a while it was never quite as much fun playing with the one who had himself as the winner every time. Most of us want our characters to be powerful, to come out on top, not to be seen as foolish. But if we never fall into the RPed traps others set for us, if we ignore the tack on the chair or act like the spitball was never shot, others may tire of our company. No, we don't have to play fair. But I think it's the wiser choice.

November 11th

Forging is out! I made a few comments on the boards:

If I could make a change to it, it would be to remove the roundtime and replace it with a system similar to what instrument playing uses, where some actions may interrupt what you're playing, but most are assumed to take place in between fingering or when you stop for a breath. Being able to chat on the net would make forging twice as good.

I'm someone who's been very critical of the tedium and isolation required for practice of most guild skills, and I am pleased that, at least, forging outshines stun maneuver training in this area. (Not that that says a lot.) Unfortunately forging seems to require only luck, no thought or danger to one's person, and I'm slightly disappointed about that. I was hoping I'd have to make decisions about how often to strike something, when to reheat the blade, when to quench it, et cetera. I prefer game activities to engage the mind, not beg you to script them.

But I am glad for forging and I like it; I think that's because of the constant rewards. In stunman, you can work for an hour and not get a single rep (a rep being maybe 1/50th of the way to my next rank, a rank being 1/63rd of the way to master). But here I'm making tangible items, and I can tell my skill is increasing with everything I do. Much better.

November 18th

Happy Thanksgiving.

If you've ever written to Feedback, you know that it can be SLOW. But I have noted that in most cases, they do read my letter and give me a coherent reply. Not at all similar to the time I wrote to AOL help asking if there was some way to accomplish a certain task without reinstalling AOL, and was sent back instructions on how to reinstall AOL. If you think GS customer service is poor, peruse the following exchange.

Typed into feedback form at Yahoo.com:

For the past week, it has been extremely difficult to impossible to access any of my yahoo mail accounts. Occasionally I have been able to log in, and once view letters, but all my other attemps have simply met with my browser working away but no page being displayed. I have the latest MIE for Windows with a clean cache. I have been trying to access my mail before 8 AM EST.

Subj: RE: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47157975V43099L0KM)
Date: 11/13/01 11:53:26 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
Reply-to: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
To: Zilal@aol.com

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We believe that the incident that you've described may be a transient one. Please check your account again to see if the problem you were reporting may be resolved. If not, we can investigate in further detail.To do this, it will be necessary for Yahoo! to enter your account and conduct some tests.

Please reply to this message, giving Yahoo! permission to enter your Yahoo! Mail account and take those steps necessary to pinpoint the causeof this problem and explore possible solutions. Without your permission,we may not be able to replicate the error you received.

Please let us know if you have further questions. If you reply to this email, it is important that you include the original message. This will allow us to see our previous correspondence with you and we'll be able to assist you in the most efficient manner.

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47157975V43099L0KM)
Date: 11/14/01 12:33:55 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: Zilal
To: mail@yahoo-inc.com

Previous correspondence will follow at the end of the letter.

I tried accessing my yahoo email accounts once more tonight and failed. One one attempt I reached a page that said "There is a server problem, please try again" but on the others my browser failed to produce anything at all. I did a tracert to the page my browser was trying to open and got this:

Tracing route to f143.mail.yahoo.com [216.136.175.48]
over a maximum of 30 hops:

1 285 ms 288 ms 301 ms ipt-da07.proxy.aol.com [205.188.201.178]
2 280 ms 288 ms 288 ms tot-dr4-G3-0.proxy.aol.com [205.188.201.252]
3 283 ms 286 ms 288 ms wc1-dtc-P3-0.aol.com [205.188.168.17]
4 269 ms 288 ms 288 ms pop1-dtc-P11-0.atdn.net [204.148.98.225]
5 284 ms 302 ms 274 ms level3-dtc.atdn.net [204.148.102.238]
6 280 ms 301 ms 288 ms ae0-53.mp1.NewYork1.Level3.net [64.159.17.65]
7 374 ms 380 ms 380 ms so-2-0-0.mp2.SanJose1.Level3.net [64.159.0.218]
8 375 ms 380 ms 380 ms gigabitethernet10-2.ipcolo4.SanJose1.Level3.net[64.159.2.170]
9 * * * Request timed out.
10 * 374 ms 367 ms ge-1-3-0.msr1.pao.yahoo.com [216.115.100.150]
11 362 ms 365 ms 354 ms vl23.bas2.sc5.yahoo.com [216.115.100.237]
12 360 ms 354 ms 367 ms f143.mail.yahoo.com [216.136.175.48]

It looks like a server or router problem to me, but if you still need permission to access my account you may.

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47206132V60968L0KM)
Date: 11/15/01 4:46:17 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
Reply-to: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
To: Zilal@aol.com

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

If you click a button or link and nothing happens for an unusually long time, your browser is "hanging" or "freezing." This means that your browser is either waiting for information from a server or is busy processing internally.

At certain times of the day, traffic on the Internet can be very heavy, and you may have to wait a little bit longer for a response from our servers. This is not due to the load on our servers being too great, butrather due to the lines connecting our server with your computer being too busy. The Internet can sometimes experience bottlenecks and traffic jams, just as freeways do.

Delays caused by heavy traffic should not last more than a few minutes. If one does, the best solution is usually to resubmit your request by clicking the same button or link again.

If your browser hangs or freezes frequently, it may help to clear your browser's cache. To do this, follow the steps below for your browser and version.

Netscape 4.x for Windows or Mac
1. Choose "Preferences..." from the Edit menu
2. Click the plus to the left of "Advanced" on the left side, and then choose "Cache" from the drop-down list
3. Click the "Clear Memory Cache" button and choose OK when prompted
4. Click the "Clear Disk Cache" button and choose OK when prompted
5. Click the OK button at the bottom of the Preferences window, and then close and re-start your browser

Netscape 3.x for Windows or Mac --
1. Choose "Network Preferences..." from Netscape's Options menu, and then choose the Cache tab
2. Click the "Clear Disk Cache Now" button, and choose OK when prompted
3. Click the OK button at the bottom of the Options window, and then close and re-start your browser

Netscape 2.x for Windows or Mac --
1. Choose "Network Preferences..." from Netscape's Options menu and thenchoose the Cache tab
2. Click the "Clear Disk Cache Now" button, and choose OK when prompted
3. Click the OK button at the bottom of the Options window, and then close and re-start your browser

Internet Explorer 4.x for Windows --
1. Choose "Internet Options..." from IE's View menu
2. Locate the "Temporary Internet files" heading, click the "Delete Files" button, and choose OK when prompted
3. Locate the "History" heading, click the "Clear History" button, and choose OK when prompted
4. Click the OK button at the bottom of the "Internet Options" window, and then close and re-start your browser

Internet Explorer 4.x or 3.x for Mac --
1. Choose "Preferences" from the Edit menu and then choose "Advanced" from the "Web browser" heading on the left side
2. In the "Cache" section, click the "Empty Now" button and the Click OK to close the Preferences window
3. Next, click the Go menu from IE's menu bar and choose "Open History." Holding down the Shift key, select each of the pages that pertain to Yahoo! Mail from the current day's history. Release the Shift key, and drag the selected items into the trash
4. Close the History window and empty the trash, and then close and re-start your browser

Internet Explorer 3.x for Windows --
1. Choose "Options..." from the View menu and then Click the "Navigation" tab
2. Click the "Clear History" button, and choose "Yes" when prompted
3. Click to the "Advanced" tab and click the "Settings" button
4. Click the "Empty Folder" button, choose "Yes" when prompted, and thenclick OK to close the "Settings" window
5. Click OK again to close the "Options" window, and then close and re-start your browser

Other --
If you are running a browser other than those listed above and would like more information on how to clear your browser's cache, please refer to your browser's help file.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

Yahoo! Customer Care

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47206132V60968L0KM)
Date: 11/16/01 12:59:53 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: Zilal
To: mail@yahoo-inc.com

While I appreciate the service, the instructions on how to clean my cache weren't particularly helpful as (stated in my letter) I already had a cleaned cache. If it's policy to include these in customer service responses, I forgive you, but I hope you understand my sense of not being listened to. And while I understand that the internet gets busy sometimes, the inability to load yahoo mail at all during any time between 10 PM and 8 AM EST for weeks on end doesn't strike me as a simple bottleneck or traffic jam. It also doesn't explain the message "There was a server problem, please try again" that I have received on occasion from yahoo mail when attempting to access my accounts. The correspondence prior to this letter (including the output of my traceroute from this location to the yahoo mail server) is included below.

Surely this problem is not affecting me alone, and surely Yahoo is aware of a server/router problem either in their own equipment or in equipment through which connections are routinely routed on their journey to yahoo mail. I would be very pleased to hear the simple news that yes, Yahoo is aware, and they are attempting to either (a) solve the problem or (b) obtain assurances from the operator of the problematic server/router that *they* are attempting to solve the problem. Obviously being unable to access my yahoo mail accounts for several weeks puts quite a crimp in my ability to use those accounts, and makes me consider seriously whether I ought to use Yahoo for any future transactions of importance.

Thank you for your time.

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47214558V15613L0KM)
Date: 11/16/01 7:57:10 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
Reply-to: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
To: Zilal@aol.com

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We're glad to hear of your interest in signing up for a Yahoo! Mail account. To sign up for your free account, just go to the Sign In page at:

http://mail.yahoo.com

If you've never registered for any of Yahoo!'s other personalized services (such as My Yahoo!, Yahoo! Classifieds, Yahoo! Chat or Yahoo! Finance), you will need to click the "Sign me up!" link or the "SIGN UP NOW" button to begin.

If you already have a Yahoo! ID and password, simply enter them in the spaces provided and click the "Sign in" or "Submit" button. This will automatically bring you to your Yahoo! Mail account. If you have questions about any of the Yahoo! Mail features, you can simply click on the "Help" link in the upper-right portion of the page.

If you are attempting to signup for another address either for yourself or for another person on the same computer, simply do the following:

Go to:

http://mail.yahoo.com

If you're already signed into a Yahoo! Mail account:

1. Click the "Sign Out" link on the left-hand navigation bar.
2. Click "Sign Out Completely".

Once at the Sign Up page, click the "Sign Up Now" button or "Sign me up!" link to begin registering for a new account.

If you see a Yahoo! ID already listed on the Yahoo! Mail login screen, click the "Change User" link toward the bottom of the page. Your browser will then display a login screen where you can click the "Sign Up Now" button or "Sign me up!" link.

Please note: It is not possible to have mail forwarded to another Yahoo! Mail account automatically.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

Yahoo! Customer Care

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47214558V15613L...
Date: 11/16/01 8:45:46 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: Zilal
To: mail@yahoo-inc.com

I didn't express any interest in signing up for a yahoo mail account, but thank you for the kind instructions. Now I'm curious... are any of my letters to this address being read, or do they go through some sort of automatic random reply machine?

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47214558V15613L... (KMM47221890V47593L0KM)
Date: 11/16/01 4:49:57 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
Reply-to: mail@yahoo-inc.com (Yahoo!Mail)
To: Zilal@aol.com

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We are looking into any difficulties you reported and we apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced. Please be assured that we're continuing to take steps to make Yahoo! Mail the best email service on the planet.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

Yahoo! Customer Care

Subj: Re: Errors - Temporary Problem Acessing your Account (KMM47214558V15613L...
Date: 11/18/01 4:08:44 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: Zilal
To: mail@yahoo-inc.com

Well, that was reassuring, if vague. It manages to treat my concerns without solving the mystery of whether my letters are being processed by some kind of Yahoovian Magic 8 Ball with an ethernet card. So I have just one more question:

How many Yahoo customer service representatives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

(As of 11/22/01, there has been no answer.)

November 27th

There's an argument that seems to crop up every once in a while, sort of a fight between people who don't like others hiding around them and people who don't like to be pointed out of hiding, or perhaps just people who want to defend the rights of one group or the other. In-game it can be frustrating or even infuriating when you're trying to hide and rest on a node and someone insists on pointing you out every time. No doubt the pointer eventually becomes infuriated that you keep hiding. It comes to seem like each party is continuing just to spite the other.

There's no argument, in the end. I'm partial to hiders... perhaps playing a rogue gives me that sympathy, or perhaps it removes my suspicion -- after all, I know about effective thievery, and it doesn't involve hiding. But whoever you side with, the fact remains that neither action is against policy (unless you follow someone around pointing wherever they go), and neither actually hurts a participant, and it's pretty tough to make a good argument about your "right" to do either. Nobody needs to hide in a particular room in town. Likewise nobody needs to point another person out.

I obviously don't think much about the suspicion that hiders must be thieves, nor do I think much of some folks' claims that by pointing they're simply roleplaying a paranoid character. I've lectured ad infinitum about how roleplaying well does not involve bugging the bejeezus out of other people. You want to play paranoid, put some thought and effort into it and talk like it, use verbs, use the SMILE and ACT commands to show it. Don't point because you're playing a paranoid character. Point because you know the other person is stealing or attacking.

Maybe you think it's wrong to hide just to go AFK. Very well, but remember that it's an accepted game convention -- and that when you point someone out of hiding because of it, it's not just them you're inconveniencing but everyone else. I know very few people who like coming into a room and seeing zombies who don't respond to anything. Most would far prefer that if they're going to go AFK in public they remain in hiding.

Suffice it to say I see fewer reasons to point than to hide, but as I said, I don't believe this is an argument either side can win. So it all boils down to respect. Don't harbor some grudge against all hiders or all pointers. Don't point unless there's something to back up your suspicions other than the very fact that someone hid. Don't react to a point with just a scowl and another hide... strike up a conversation with the pointer. And if someone insists on repeating the same irritating reaction over and over again, recognize that it's become a pointless battle over who will "win," and convince yourself that the only prize with any point to it is a simple an end to irritation... and move on.

December 9th

My apologies for the lack of an update last week.

In the continuing Yahoo saga, I still have not received a reply to my last (admittedly tongue-in-cheek) question to their customer service department. Still can't access any of my Yahoo mail accounts, either.

I'm back to playing Diablo II again lately (up to Act III in Nightmare mode now, hehe) and thinking about why that format of hacking and slashing and building up skills and items can be so addictive. I'm just enraptured by the random name/property system for magic items. Finding new things can be very exciting. Or maybe I just lack for intrigue in my life. But of course it gets me thinking about whether such a system could be implemented in a game like GemStone. Not that we want to diabloize GemStone. But I do like the random item thing.

The first hurdle is that most of the names would be inappropriate for GS. A vulpine sword of slaying wouldn't fit in the rules. But if the adjectives were all related to appearance or observable traits, with associated properties, that would work. Like we know drake things spit fire. The second problem is that GS isn't the type of game built to handle widely available powerful magic items. Creature designers want to be able to build their minions on the assumption that the vast majority of hunters are not going to have extra powerful items. So finding five swords per day with +20% to +50% damage would definitely throw things off. But would a lack of power from the items take the fun away? Maybe. Some things just aren't translatable.

It could be interesting though. Finding such as a twisted frosty scimitar in a box, maybe as frequently as once a week... it might be a 0x cold-flaring sword that doubled as a twisted wand, 10 waves then it poofs. Or a bloodstone ring, +2 to your max HP when you're wearing it... or a sapphire-inset bloodstone ring, +2 to both health and mana. Or a mirrored shield, 5% protection from lightning damage.

Our third hurdle may be OOC speak. The more stat-altering abilities you put into the game, the more people are going to be saying "Selling a sapphire ring, +2 to mana!". But the worst, now that I think of it, is that a huge system of items with random magical properties, no matter how slight, wouldn't just add to the intrigue of GS: it'd change the timbre of the game for many players, to exactly what I do in Diablo... forever kill things in order to upgrade my equipment, so I can kill more things. Granted, people are already forever killing things in GS in order to upgrade their skills, anyway, but I think that's enough for now. We'd better just stick to random jewelry items.

December 15th

In response to my tribulations with Yahoo, Savhath writes:

I don't have the actual Letter, but for a while I was playing both dragonrealms and gemstone. I decided to go back to Gemstone only. I sent a letter to Simu, and it said "Hi, this soandso, my security answer is thisandthat. I would like to cancel my dragonrealms account so I may concentrate on Gemstone3 instead now. Thank you" They caneled service to everything. TIme went by, about a year later i picked up DR for a while again, then again decided to go back to solely Gemstone. A portion of my letter read like this...

"I WOULD LIKE TO CANCEL ONLY THE DRAGONREALMS PORTION OF MY ACCOUNT. PLEASE DO NOT CANCEL THE GEMSTONE SERVICE. I WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE PLAYING GEMSTONE ON THIS SAME ACCOUNT NAME, BUT WOULD LIKE TO CANCEL THE DRAGONREALMS PORTION OF THE SERVICE ONLY! TO SUMMARIZE: LEAVE GEMSTONE ACTIVE! CANCEL THE DRAGONREALMS SUBSCRIPTION!

"I'm sorry for the caps and bluntness, but last time I would to cancel/activate only one of the multiple services on my account all of them were canceled, and this was an inconvience as I wanted to play and could not. thank you"

Got a letter the next day saying they got my letter and canceled service as requested...dragonrealms, gemstone, and all. <cry>

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