Statements of the Week, 2002
January 13th
I apologize for the lack of an update lately; I've been experiencing server problems. Really!
I finally saw the Fellowship of the Ring a few days ago. I liked it. And for me -- especially since I haven't read the books in a decade -- it was nice to see again the fantasy literature archetypes of elf, dwarf, wizard, hobbit/halfling, orc, et cetera that have been used by so many. Elanthia is its own world, of course, but I think getting a firmer grasp on the "original" mold for halflings and other fantasy races could be an aid in roleplaying. At least, it makes me want to grab every tart-maniac and baby-talker in GS and lock them in a room with nothing but the Lord of the Rings trilogy for company.
I'm tired. But we'll see if I can't get some new things up this week for everyone's viewing pleasure.
January 27th
Well, J's luck has not improved completely, it seems. This month saw a rather drastic suicide attempt of someone near and dear to me. I can report that he is making a mind-boggling physical recovery (though, he complains, he feels as though he's been shot in the head), but only time will tell if the drugs or the demons will have the last say.
So I want to talk a bit about suicide. I won't exhort you to talk to someone before you take the plunge; I know it's a rare case that is even capable of imagining there could be some help somewhere. Logic fails the deeply depressed, and the connections seem perfectly clear whether they are correct or not: you can trace all future paths, and none leads to salvation. You may know that many love and care for you, but what good is that? You may know that the vast majority of treated depressives recover, but perhaps, your mind tells you, it is time to face the fact that you are one of the other 2%. Or perhaps you think you could not stand to struggle through the years of therapy that doubtless await. All roads lead downward.
I am not likely to convince anyone to hold off because of hope. I never did go in much for hope myself, for better or worse. (Probably worse, but who wants to be a conformist anyway?) But I know that depression is about more than despair. It is also about a strange sense of urgency. Through urgency, events become imbued with unearned importance. A __, a concert, a kiss can all seem like once-in-a-lifetime chances. We may obsess over them unduly, or berate ourselves for missing them. And we may forget what it really means to have the rest of our lives ahead of us. If you didn't know, listen now: that forboding sense of urgency that may plague you is not common to the population at large. It's an arm of the demon. You may dismiss it at will.
I am and always have been a staunch libertarian when it comes to hurting oneself; I will defend to the end a person's right to commit suicide. But I do believe it is not a thing to be undertaken lightly.
We all get to die. That is a privilege afforded to the least of us. None of us can escape it, and none can have it taken away. When there is no comfort in love, logic or statistics, take comfort in that. We all get to die. You have the rest of your life in which to kill yourself. There is no rush. Urgency is a red herring. The world of death is your oyster.
Grim it may be, but -- as Houseman said -- take it: if the smack is sour, the better for the embittered hour.
February 3rd
Are you afraid of the dark? Looks like the big quest for this year is underway. But you already knew that. The nightly invasions have generated almost unanimous praise from players (with the few dissenters wishing they were a little less nightly). Apparently new invasion mechanics are in use. They seem to take into account the number of players in an area. The invasions have also been preceeded and followed by "announcements" from the vishmiir, so we've known when they were coming and when they were over. And they've all started out with smaller creatures first. I like it too, though I miss the sense of danger from being swarmed.
Juspera made the news! at http://www.play.net/gs3/news/vishmiir.asp. That little news item generated a good deal of animosity from a couple people on the boards. The specter of favoritism reared its ugly head. And one of the protesters in particular had some very cynical ideas about why, exactly, people roleplay and why they do it where they do, and why certain people seem involved in events again and again.
I could tell you why I roleplay, why I often do it at HS and why I made the news item, but I'm not sure it's important. The thing that disturbs me most was how much the plaintiffs wanted to believe sinister motives of other roleplayers and GMs. Both favoritism and brown nosing have been known to exist, but I feel certain in saying that both the player and GM population are almost wholly made up of people who play like they do because it's fun and staff like they do because they remember what was fun as a player. Seeing special treatment and pandering for favors everywhere may not always be wrong, but it's always a guaranteed way to make oneself miserable.
I'm proud and delighted that I roleplayed in a way to get GM attention that night that made the news, and it gives me no end of pleasure to see Juspera's name there. I do like attention. But in a regular old human way. Nothing too sinister, I hope.
February 10th
Next Sunday I'll be away, so don't hope too hard for an update then. This week, however, I have a couple of riddling poems for a couple fans. Puzzle over the two emotions I describe, if you like.
1. The Dun Drowner
It dulls days, blunts hours,
judgement strips, joy sours,
tempts hands, taps dice
and leads young rogues to vice.
Bugleworth, fret not --
rest, relish the pot --
We only fleed the monster's rot.
2. The Nagger Pang
The conscienced oft ascend aloft
While snider minds receive abyss.
Yet gold's less rare than your true error;
Be gilt with pride, and not with this!
February 24th
We've breached the 50,000 visits mark! I thank you all. ("Speech, speech!" they cried in dismay.) While my current 50,866 visits are dwarfed by the total accrued by some other GS sites, I feel confident that the quality of material the site can provide -- thanks largely to your submissions -- earns it a place of leadership in both the excellence and popularity departments. I look for the visits tally to climb at an ever-increasing rate.
This year I will have something special for you. Forgive me if I've hinted at it before; I am quite looking forward to it. I admit that it may be more special to me than it is to you, but it's truly something new and different. And no, it's not naked pictures of the author.
Unfortunately, real life does not always permit timely updates to the page, and that will probably continue. But hey, at least there are so many old logs and such on the site now, you can treat yourself to history on those updateless days. Once again, thank you all for making this site what it is.
Well, helping to make. I want some credit.
March 10th
We now present another chilling episode of...
THE POST THAT WOULD NOT DIE!
Our story begins on an ordinary day in the Discussions with Simutronics folder, Suggestions & Ideas for Improvement board, at least a year ago. Our humble hero, for a reason she can no longer remember, decides to post a suggestion for changing dragging mechanisms. Whether there had been complaints on the board about dragging is lost to the mists of time. It is quite possible the post was completely random.
Our hero had been thinking it was silly that when we're dragging a heavy person, we might tug on his arm 50 times before we finally manage to pull him into the next room. If we were capable of moving the fellow at all, she thought, why wouldn't we succeed on one of the first few tries? Wouldn't we be impossibly exhausted by the 50th? In a nutshell, dragging was too hard. She thought it would make much more sense if anyone had a 90-100% chance of dragging another person on any given attempt. However, since it also makes little sense we'd be able to lug someone heavy from place to place instantly, she thought the verb might be balanced out by the addition of a small roundtime, or at least an interlude resembling casting time, where one may do most things other than attack and cast.
She wasn't sure if she liked the new dragging idea or not, but she posted saying so, asking others what they thought of it so she could get her opinions in order.
Within minutes, the board was swamped with outrage. Who was this person wanting a roundtime added to dragging??? they screamed. Dragging is hard enough as it is! We don't need it made any harder! Adding a roundtime to dragging is a moronic idea! Our heroine had known that readers often conveniently skip over the important parts of posts and head straight for things they can complain about, so she had been extra careful to stress both that she wanted to make dragging easier, and that she wasn't backing the idea, only airing it. She re-stressed when she made a responding post attempting to calm people down and generate the intelligent discussion she had wanted. The few thoughtful posts following were lost in the sea of continuing reactionary tirades.
Even to someone who had seen no end of dysfunctional behavior on internet message boards, it was shocking. But the most nightmarish aspect was... the post would not die. Every now and then, another smug poster would reference it on the boards, with comments such as "That's the worst change you could make to the game, besides adding roundtime to dragging" and "You're stupider than whoever wanted to add roundtime to dragging!"
The post sleeps, my friends, but it does not die. Earlier this year I received a letter from Danay's player, informing me that the bilious bit of text had reared its ugly head on the Player's Corner message boards. Behold:
> posted 01-23-2002 02:45 PM > > > >
I'll tell ya what pisses me off SK >
People that want to change something different everyday...then it changes...then they bitch about it being changed.
Absolutely no sense to me.
A guy about 8 months ago wanted a roundtime on dragging people because he felt that his screen was going too fast for his eyes. That _might_ be the most ludicrous idea I've ever heard of.
It is immortal. It shuffles endlessly through the cybered nowhere-halls, haunting message board after message board. Centuries hence, it will prowl still, a living (yet unliving!) testament to the passion of small minds everywhere: to sacrifice intelligence in the unyielding quest for a thing to complain about, real or imagined -- the fervent hunger for outrage makes no distinction. Fear it, my friends. It is...
THE POST THAT WILL NOT DIE!
March 17th
The lesson of the post that will not die lived on last week. To refresh your memory, that lesson was that people will read into a post (or indeed, into an article, essay, book, speech or just about anything else) what they expect/fear/want to see at the expense of noticing what is actually there.
The Topic of the Day board was lively this past week. There would have been some great discussion if not for everyone's favorite reactionary tendency. I got bit myself. I was trying to set up a discussion on the morality and feasibility of making it illegal not to do good deeds through an analysis of a case someone had brought up. (A woman had neglected to get aid for a man she'd accidentally struck with her car, who had remained in her windshield all the way home and into her garage.) My insistence on defining her behavior as "doing nothing" rather than "committing a wrong act" led to a few rather emotional posts suggesting I was touched in the head for not being able to see how horrible the event had been. I read as much nonsense on the boards as the next person, but as with the response to the infamous post that will not die, this surprised me. Obviously the poster thought I felt it's peachy to act like nothing special's happened when you just hit a man with your car. The problem was that it was entirely inferred. Not one sentence I penned so much as hinted it was groovy, let alone okay, to leave an innocent man to die in your garage. Not even close. In fact in my 3-4 posts I avoided the moral nature of the event all together.
The uproar of the week, however, occurred when another poster stated the rather obvious notion that when it comes to women and sex, no does not always mean no. You'd have thought his post was titled "Rape is better than pie!" I don't like to generalize, but it may just be that all rational thought left the posting audience at that point. Even posters I know for admirable intelligent women were shaking their metaphorical fists to announce that yes, no ALWAYS ALWAYS means no and the original poster had really done it this time, proving himself a world-class prick. I know the original poster could use some work on his presentation, but I'm also pretty damn sure that the coy woman, the kinky woman, the woman who likes to play games, the woman with a high level of trust in her partner and even the lying woman did not go the way of the dodo when 2002 rolled in. People don't always say what they mean. Even women. Even about sex. Facts is facts.
Just as saying "the woman did nothing" doesn't mean "the woman's behavior was swell," "no doesn't always mean no" is a far, far cry from "it's cool to have nonconsensual sex." There's a big difference between acknowledging words' fickle nature and declaring it no impedement to intercourse. And I stake my reputation on my belief that the poster in question is as horrified by nonconsentual sex as we. Unfortunately his posting style is often inflammatory, and unfortunately the posting community is a passle of eager beavers when it comes to opportunities for outrage.
We're used to reading between the lines because, heck, frequently there is a meaning beyond what's said. Especially in our culture of irony and sarcasm. The ability to infer meaning is a useful social skill; it could even save your life. But we become cynical when we stop seeing and start inventing.
And when we stop inventing accidentally and start inventing on purpose, we become conservatives. That was a joke. The behavior (by no means confined to one group) is less a laughing matter. Someone calling for hemp legalization may or may not want to light up, but if you're a textile giant with a lot to lose, it sure is easy to stir up opposition without lifting a finger to research one logical argument. Scare tactics work.
The practice of jumping to... or fabricating... or believing outraged conclusions is more than cynical. It's awful. It's one of the biggest impediments there is to productive discussion and vital change. It's the addiction of little minds and the weapon of greedy ones.
And oh... if you ever hear somebody say that "More women have been liberated by the U.S. armed forces than by all the women's studies departments in history," it's possible they think those departments should be abolished. But when you assume anything -- especially if you assume they believe feminism is a load of horse pucky -- you make an ass out of you know who.
March 31st
My statements of the week have been quite serious lately, so let's take a break. It is time for more lighthearted fare.
Just recently I went on food stamps. Between the usual things and the Health Problem of the Month, my ability to support myself has suffered. But if I favor making other people pay taxes to feed poor slobs, then dammit, I should stick to my beliefs and take those people's tax money like the poor slob I am.
Food stamps aren't stamps anymore. They are now a credit card-like operation. And for some reason it's called "EBT." I don't know what that stands for. I don't think anybody knows what it stands for, which is a nice way to escape stigma, also a nice way to escape responsibility for knowing what you're doing. I get $135 a month for three months. The money does not expire at the end of the month, unless it is the last month, in which case it does expire, a bit like people who go off food stamps when they still can't afford food.
You cannot buy cat food with food stamps. That is a shame, because cat food is very cheap and nutritious.
You can't buy toilet paper with them either. I suppose if you could they'd be called toilet paper stamps. Maybe there used to be toilet paper stamps, but they were discontinued because they kept dissolving in the wash.
I also got state medical insurance, which means I can get treatment for non-emergencies, like a grotesquely misaligned spine or hives covering my entire body. I'm not sure how long state medical lasts. If it lasts longer than the hives, I will be impressed. These things are 6 weeks old and going strong. I even got a steroid shot and Zyrtec samples a couple weeks ago. The hives are only subdued. It's either get rid of it, or get rid of Rufus.
On the bright side, the UCONN women won the NCAA championship.
April 16th
Of late I've been perfectly ready and willing to update, and have tried several times, but AOL was giving me a lot of problems. I've moved the items on the culture page to other locations, so if you link directly to any of those, check to see what their new addresses are.
The newest log involves a gaming/altering session of Sukara's. I had a ton of fun. I've taken part in other events run by the GM who plays her as well. And in the past I made a few negative comments about her occasional OOC or questionable behavior. I don't remember if I ever implied she wasn't a good GM, but I might have.
If I did, I must take it back. Sukara's GM is nothing if not committed to doing fun stuff with players, at the sacrifice of some truly impressive chunks of time out of her own life. I've come to appreciate that. A quest of hers in which I participated ran over time, and she popped in in GM form to discuss whether to finish it up late into the night, or wait until tomorrow. At the time I was a bit peeved by the OOC presence (and I'm still not sure it couldn't have been done differently), but her desire for input from the quest participants did impress me, as did her willingness to stay up very late when that was our decision. Her actions in this week's log go on to prove she's either a real softie or simply cares about players to a great degree. Or both.
Having a stableful of GMs like her would be a bit much. But I accept her as she is. Good work Sukara and player!
April 21st
I got another alteration last week. I know there's a lot of bitterness out there about people who seem to get alterations all the time, and while I probably don't fall into that category, I do have quite a few now. So I thought I might talk about how I got the alters I got with my characters, to see if I couldn't dispel some of the impression that favoritism is required to get lots of work done.
#1 - GM Aldrek is no longer on staff ,so I feel I can tell the whole sordid story. Back when the rogue guild was in beta testing, we were told to apply if we wanted to be beta testers, which I did. I really really wanted to. But I didn't get in. Neither did Juspera's friend Prata. But someone who did get in had told him that his name was on the list of beta testers posted inside the guild hall. Prata had the temerity to REPORT about it, and they fixed things so he could get inside and do some testing. Once he got inside, he found that my name was on the aforementioned list as well. He told me I should do what he did about it.
I was too shy to report, but I did assist and spoke with Aldrek who, while not in charge of the guild, was the rogue guru at the time. He was a little clueless on the mechanics but tried what he could to get me in. Alas, it didn't work. Poor thing, I was heartbroken. Later that week as I was sitting by myself, Aldrek popped in and asked if he could make it up to me with an alteration. I wavered but eventually said yes.
Later I felt so guilty about it that I wished I hadn't. In retrospect it doesn't seem like a huge deal, but I was worried. At any rate, I hadn't known Aldrek before then, and if I knew his PC, I wasn't aware. I never did find out why some people were on the list of beta testers in the guild, but weren't actually invited to test.
#2 - Selandrial was doing spinner work in River's Rest on a day I was in town. I'm not sure if I just walked in on him, or heard about it over the net. I got picked with the spinner.
#3 - Wrote an article for the Elanthian Times, for which you get an alteration.
#4 - Hsark was in River's Rest, though again I can't remember if I just stumbled on his tent or heard about it on the net. He opened a shifting list and after several tries I made it on.
#5 - I'd seen an unusual wagon in River's Rest and explored it. No one was there but there was a note signed "K." Later on the Landing net I heard someone ask if K-something had shown up (somehow I've forgotten the name), and I guessed that might be the merchant K. I put the last in my highlights, and when she logged in, I went back to the Rest and went into the wagon. I tried going through the curtain inside, but it was closed. Then all of a sudden I was pulled inside. She did alters for everyone in the room.
#6 - Got another one for writing another Times article.
#7 - Saw in the calendar that Sukara would be running games. Showed up. Stayed after the games and got picked by a spinner.
#8 - There was some messaging about the town guard wandering by saying Mistix was by the sandcastle, so I went down. The first time he opened his list, I typed "sign list" instead of "join list" (hey, it'd been a long time!) and missed it. But soon after he finished up the folks on that list, Mnar -- who was obviously paying more attention than I was -- nudged me and I thought to look at the list again. It was open and I quickly joined to get the last spot. It had been opened invisibly.
Of course, this is not representative of my merchant experiences. I might have one alter for every ten alterers found. But I think it is representative of the ways in which people get alterations. You walk in on the merchant, or hear about them, or read about them on the calendar. It helps to have highlights and friends. An alter for an article published in the Times is a sure bet, though the actual publication of the Times is anything but. Knowing the tricks merchants play with lists doesn't hurt.
Armed with your new knowledge, go forth and score alterations. Good luck!
April 29th
This week there's been an ongoing discussion about the faults and merits of the Dhe'nar in the main roleplaying folder. I think I've expressed most of the opinions I'm going to there, but there was another issue I didn't want to start on, because the discussion was large enough as it was.
Now, supposedly, one reason no one can play a half-Dhe'nar is because the priests of the race are charged with hunting down all half-Dhe'nar and killing them, and this wouldn't bode well for someone who was trying to play such a halfbreed. My reaction to this resembles my reaction to those who say they have to kill the NPC, because to do otherwise would break character. Essentially: it's inappropriate to create some kinds of characters for a game like GS3, and one of those kinds is a character whose personality dictates he MUST kill player- or GM-run characters for any reason. I think it's a very poor choice.
Likewise, it's a poor choice to create a playable race whose members must kill other PCs to stay in character. While it might be great to be able to play anything we wanted at all, this is a game that requires taking other players into consideration when you act. And by act I mean not only how you roleplay, but how you design your character (or race), especially which parts you decide are unable to be compromised. Because for me, the highest achievement of roleplaying is generating enjoyment for both oneself and for other players, and thus consideration for how you're going to be affecting those other players is paramount.
I don't think sticking 100% to character all the time is the most important part of roleplaying. But if you do, then designing a character you can stick to 100% without infringing on others' ability to enjoy the game should be very important to you too.
May 12th
Your humble author has been experiencing chronic exhaustion (not to mention resurgent hives), thus the sporadic updates. But hang in there.
This past week saw the opening stages of some new Griffin Sword event. Have you harassed a Luukosian today?
May 19th
I haven't been able to make it into the game much lately, so you're in for another dissertation on a peeve of mine from the real world. But we'll see if I can relate it to the game anyway.
When I run contests in the game, such as POETRY DEATH MATCH or some other effort in which the winners are decided by group vote, I use a system whereby everyone whispers to me their first and second (and sometimes third) choices. I rank those choices with points and use those point totals to determine the winners. This has a couple big benefits. First it's less likely to generate ties, and second it's a much truer expression of how the voting populace feels than a simpler one person, one vote system. It avoids what I find to be the most distressing consequence of that simpler system.
In the 2000 presidential election, I knew that in all practicality, I could vote for the candidate whose beliefs best matched my own -- Ralph Nader -- without giving a leg up to Bush, as Gore was sure to win handily in my liberal state. There was room for me to vote for who I wanted. (The fact that the electoral college system made this possible doesn't make me any fonder of the electoral college, but that's another statement of the week.) However, most people who felt they would be best served by third-party candidates could not express their wishes as neatly as I could. The race was not as certain in their states. In fact, a few websites sprang up through which one could supposedly "trade" one's vote with someone from a more predictable state.
That's not good. An election system that generates vote-swapping meets because voting for the person you actually want might put your least favorite candidate in office? That's just wrong.
Allowing both first- and second-, and even third-place votes for voters can rectify the insanity. It will open up politics to third parties, making the candidacy of those with truly differing platforms more routine. It will improve things.
One possibility with the multiple-vote system is that a candidate may be elected who was hardly anyone's first choice (as happened a couple years ago when France instituted the system). I still hold that the system provides a much truer picture of what the populace wants. I want this in the U.S. Let's all get used to the idea.
May 26th
On the Idle Hill of Summer
On the idle hill of summer,
Sleepy with the flow of streams,
Far I hear the steady drummer
Drumming like a noise in dreams.
Far and near and low and louder
On the roads of earth go by,
Dear to friends and food for powder,
Soldiers marching, all to die.
East and west on fields forgotten
Bleach the bones of comrades slain,
Lovely lads and dead and rotten;
None that go return again.
Far the calling bugles hollo,
High the screaming fife replies,
Gay the files of scarlet follow:
Woman bore me, I will rise.
A.E. Housman (1859-1936)
June 2nd
Lately Juspera has been involved in some shady moral doings. I like this because I am obsessed with ethics and morality in real life, and arguments, what is a valid argument and what is not, that sort of thing. So it's a great opportunity to be able to get into the game and try to put into practice some slightly flawed reasoning.
Slightly flawed is better than wholly flawed. Wholly flawed, anyone can see is wrong. So I'm not sure you learn as much trying to argue a wholly flawed viewpoint. But one with some rational and some irrational elements in it is great. It is the little slips in logic that I try so hard to figure out in real life. Sometimes they are not very clear. But in the way that sometimes, it doesn't hit you which is the right solution until you decide on the wrong one, arguing out morally flawed rationales with Juspera has helped me understand why they are wrong. You cannot always tell what is wrong about something until it is brought to the light.
I encourage everyone to play a character who has some explanations for his beliefs you know are logical, and some explanations you know are illogical. A mix is definitely the way to go, both realism-wise and fun-wise. Have a good end and bad means, or vice versa. Be right for the wrong reasons. Mix your modern viewpoints with medieval ones. Explore the different ways to be wrong.
Juspera's ethical transgressions have helped me in another way, one I also hadn't expected. Like many rehabilitated geeks, I had a rough time of it in school. That part of my life is over, thankfully, but it was sufficiently traumatic that plenty of hurt remains. Playing Juspera in her flipflopping roles of both bully and victim has actually been rather a catharsis for me. Though Juspera definitely has her own whiny take on things, she is and has been legitimately abused by other characters, and it was weirdly helpful for me to be able to play out some feelings from the past in this safer situation. Now I feel as much an artist of shame and hatred as a victim. And her occasionally stepping into the bully role may not help me understand why people can be cruel, but it does let me lighten up about it. When I'm playing the bully, having fun with it, my terrors no longer seem so sinister. It is easier to accept them as just another aspect of human drama to explore.
I am feeling good about Juspera's doing bad.
June 9th
It's SimuCon weekend! I wanted to go, as usual, but didn't have the dough. Next year, though, let me tell you. The life of the party won't let anything stop her. Thankfully, there's an NEGemstone gathering scheduled for later this month to slake my hobnobbing lusts.
I like gamers and nerds, first perhaps because they are sure to accept me. More mainstream folk tend to offer a pained silence after my jokes, and look askance at my various hobbies or habits. I like geeks and gamers because they have had difference experiences from normal people. By his very definition, a geek has had more struggles in the social arena. People who have struggled are by and large more interesting than those who haven't. A nerd might not be particularly interesting in practice, tending to focus on esoteric conversational topics without offering yourself a chance to speak, but I am charmed by those who choose to speak of X-wings and elves over sports and dating. There is something about uninhibited joy in one's favorite hobby, no matter how disdained by the rest of society, that appeals to me. If they are ashamed about being total gamers, they do not show it. I should not either. They are my kind of people.
The kinds of folks you'll see at gatherings will range from those you might suspect have no life to those who are obviously happy, well-adjusted members of society. The clothes and the looks range as well. There are some irritating people out there, even outright jerks, and I have not enjoyed every single gathering I have attended. But these days I look forward to them greatly. I like the crowd I will be seeing; we sit around, eat and drink, play games and chat. Hit the socializing board some day and check for gatherings in your area. Of course there will be dorky people there. Don't be scared!
June 16th
There once was a scout named Mnar
Who took on exploration afar.
He'll be gone for five weeks
While he watches and sneaks;
Let's rejoice like the ingrates we are!
July 14th
This summer is becoming eerily similar to last summer in almost every way. I will spare the gory details, we may rest conforted in the fact that this year, at least, I have somewhere to live, for now anyway. So, while they may be late, the updates will keep coming.
The most buzz in the game these days seems to be about the new features system. Now, I have this thing about neat GemStone features. I want them, I just don't want them in GemStone. Well. I want them in GemStone, but I'm selfish too. I have my own projects, ouvres some of you know about, and part of the gist there was to implement all the things GS never had but should. But with each implementation that GS should have had all along and now does, I feel a little less special. I am even tempted sometimes to hold back ideas that I plan on implementing myself. But never fear, GS will probably always be my first and main.
July 21st
This week we have a treat. Out of both a pressing need for anonymity and a niggling urge that I really ought to learn how to make some has sprung a new website feature, Juspera's Good Ole GS3 Boards. You can find them here or through the links above and below for now; maybe my next project should be a program that goes through the 150 or so pages I have on this site and puts a boards link at the bottom of each one. (Or to change the green on every page to something less bilious, if certain people's complaints are to be heeded.)
Right now there are only two forums, because I couldn't think of any others that would be seriously used. I'm not even sure these will be seriously used. But if there's one thing I don't want this to be, it's another website that provides content nobody has any interest in but the webmaster. Little danger of that now, I know. But if so much as one section were useless I'd have to shave my eyebrows in shame. (No comment about the River's Rest page, please.)
Enjoy my little creation.
August 4th
My cup of material runneth over this week, as I stumbled on a gold mine of an idea that will, I hope, be lending me enough inspiration to continue the project with montly updates. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. You can find it by clicking on the link above.
Regarding a couple recent NEWS items:
Dateline 8/3/2002: HALF ELF TEHIR
Half Elves no longer have the option of choosing Tehir as their cultural history selection. If you're a half elf who previously selected Tehir, please assist so that a GameMaster can allow you to choose a new cultural history.
END NEWS ITEM
Thumbs down on this news item. I pass no judgement on the change itself, but the way in which it was handled -- with no warning and explanation given until 3 days later on an obscure message board -- is clearly not the best example of staff to player communication, especially considering the player-run Tehir PRO had been in close contact with staff since their inception. The same staff as made the change? Who knows?
Dateline 8/5/2002: ATHRAWES AND LETHOR TO VISIT TA'VAALOR
Athrawes and Lethor will be visiting Ta'Vaalor at 23:59 by the elven time standard on the sixth day of the month of Phoenatos. They will be available to have the talisman look into the soul of all those brave enough to be examined. During this visit Athrawes and Lethor will be making final preparations before their journey to the lost temple. All those interested in such a quest, be they green or blood-red in the eyes of the talisman, should attend. The time for action draws near.
END NEWS ITEM
Thumbs on up this news item. I don't believe all quests should be announced through the news, but some should, and here's an example of it finally happening. I have no clue what the hell is going on from their blurb, but at least I know when and where I can go find out.
That's it for this week, campers.
August 11th
Well, I am very happy in my GSing today. The Goat Fest was another success, and you can read a log from one of the games I ran. South Haven was put in, and while it seems 90% empty, there is still some very cool stuff there. (Check out this map by Xeldria!) But best of all, the rogue guild "gambits" skill was finally implemented!
This has long been the future development I was most looking forward to. For me, being able to tumble and do sleight-of-hand rounds off Juspera's character in a way that age and features don't. It was very early in the history of the rogue guild that I decided the two skills I wanted to master would be cheapshots and gambits. (Mastering more would not be feasible yet, since the guild ranks you can gain are limited by your level.) And now I can.
I've railed in the past against certain rogue guild tasks -- especially those for the stun maneuvers skill -- that are so incredibly long, simple, repetitious and solitary that everyone I know scripts them, and I'm happy to report that so far I've found no such tasks in gambits. I might even place it as the second-easiest skill to learn, after sweep. (Alternatively, fourth-hardest.)
A big thanks to GM Taelrand and staff for their releases this past weekend, and to GM Bradach and Lyvonia for all their work on the Goat Fest. See you again next year!
September 8th
This week, validation.
Amazingly, I have a number of thoughts I never express. Sometimes that's because I've never heard anyone else express a similar thought. On the inside I just kinda wondered if I was the only one who felt that way.
But no more!
There are so many sites out there, sites of big-name corporations, that are flush with Flash. This bothers me. I have a 56k modem and I'm pretty sure most internet users do too. I do not want to see a Flash intro when I'm trying to get to some information I want, and I certainly don't want to see it every time I load the page. In fact, I don't want to see it at all. I'm not sure watching a 15 second cartoon (that takes 5 minutes to load) about some product or service is the best use of my (5 minutes and) 15 seconds.
However, I never heard anyone express this opinion. I thought maybe I was the only one who didn't like Flash intros. Until the other night, when I was reading the May 13, 2002 issue of Newsweek, an article entitled "Size Matters: Small Is Good" about the factors that can allow the websites of small businesses to do much better than those of large businesses. I quote from the article:
"Finally, small-business Web sites are less likely to fall victim to technical overkill. Corporate officers all have broadband connections, and seem to think that everyone else does, too. 'You can always tell someone who has no idea about how to treat customers if they have a [Macromedia] Flash intro on their site,' says Frankel. "Over 80 percent of the country is still on dial-up. These people do not want to sit there and watch your ego-driven show.'" (The Frankel here was Rob Frankel, a brand consultant.)
Take that, Flash sites.
Second issue: I've read and seen a lot on the topic of animal intelligence. Studies of animals such as Alex the parrot and Koko the gorilla show them synthesizing information in a method far beyond rote memorization. Given a plate of several different colored objects and asked "How many blue?" Alex will examine them and respond with the correct number of blue objects. Koko continues to put together the signs she was taught into sequences she was never taught to form new meanings, even inventing signs of her own for words her trainers have used only verbally. These animals are smarter than human babies.
Yet in a time when some members of congress are pushing for rights for human fetuses and even embryos, I hear no one arguing for greater animal rights on the basis that many animals have a greater intellectual capacity (and suspected capacity for suffering) than some humans. Until now, anyway. From the September 4th 2002 issue of Salon, I saw Kurt Kleiner's book review of Steven M. Wise's Drawing the Line: Science and the Case for Animal Rights. I quote:
"So what makes a person? Wise quotes legal scholars and philosophers to make the case that the defining aspect of a person is autonomy; a person can desire, reason and act... The three-part test for practical autonomy he devises asks whether the animal 1) can desire something; 2) can intentionally act to fulfill those desires; and 3) knows that it's he, the animal, who is doing the desiring and the acting.
"Wise asks whether even his 4-year-old son, Christopher, has actually achieved the status of person... If Christopher had been 1 year old when Wise asked the question, he might have been judged less worthy of personhood than an adult parrot."
I won't bother to get into the sticky issues of actually giving more rights to animals; suffice it for now that I'm pleased someone else thinks the results of animal intelligence studies are a good reason to look at those issues. Have any thoughts of your own? You can discuss them on the boards, following the link below.
September 15th
I had another traumatic brush with e-business customer service the other week. School being upon us, and upon me this year, I'd written to TextbookX.com's customer service department to ask them a question about shipping. Six days later, I received this reply:
Dear TextbookX customer,
You are receiving this message because you have recently emailed our customer service department. We apologize for the possible delay in receiving a personal response to your concern. We also recognize that due to this delay many of your issues have been resolved either through our customer support line or by one of our order status emails.
If your issue has not been resolved through these means, please send your request to us again at customerservice@akademos.com for immediate attention and resolution.
Wow! That's a pretty tactful way of rephrasing "We took so long to answer your question, we decided it was better not to answer it at all," or perhaps, "If we wait long enough, there's a chance you'll get help elsewhere or give up and we won't have to spend any money on you, while making it look like we're simply being respectful of your potential for initiative."
As excuses for not doing any work go, this one is pretty good. I am just not impressed.
Had bad customer service experiences? Discuss them on the boards, by following the link below!
September 22nd
The log/boot portal is finally gone, and the RR hunting grounds have been greatly expanded. I don't have much to say... I said most of it on the RR boards... but I'm very pleased with the number of player suggestions implemented by the GMs. It's funny how you think your comments are falling on deaf ears, until a new implementation comes out and you see them. May you all be here soon so you can enjoy it too!
October 13th
Halloween is coming up. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, maybe my favorite of all. It taps into notions and feelings that are old as the hills, and I feel more connected to the past when I think of Halloween than I do when I think of Easter or Thanksgiving or Valentine's Day or Christmas or the Fourth of July. I like dressing up, and Halloween is a good excuse. I like candy too. I like Autumn a lot, and Halloween gives us lots of dry leaves, apples, pumpkins from the harvest, hayrides, and an excuse to go outside in the crisp night air. There are parties. I like costume parties. And bobbing for apples is a great excuse to dunk your head in a tub of water, if you need an excuse for that.
Halloween is about the things that frighten us, or things that would frighten us if life were a little different. I am afraid of a lot of things, I admit, but ghosts and witches aren't among them. It might be nicer if I could trade my fears for those. Perhaps I would rather be terrified of a ghost than of asking someone I like out for a date. I would like my fears larger than life, supernatural devils with inscrutable powers who provoke awe in every heart and make every hand tremble, and perhaps then I wouldn't be ashamed to be afraid.
Fear of ghosts, witches and demons is old, old. No one could number the rituals performed by tribe, town and nation over the millenia to ward off the restless spirits of the dead and evil things. It feels good to embrace a little splinter of acknowledgement, to make a night more haunted of our own choice, in celebration, a nod to the world ours was birthed from.
My desires to take a roll in the occult every year may have been encouraged by the unusual number of Ray Bradbury stories I read as a girl. Bradbury's works tend to fall into a few particular categories, a lingering of the occult in the modern world being one of them. (One of his books of short stories, The October Country, was in fact wholly given over to the theme.) In some of his stories the occult element was whimsical, in some it was evil, but he always treated it with a love and reverence. The uncivilized fears of the past linger today in our blood, he was saying. And if they don't linger in our minds, they should.
Halloween is commercial. There is candy sold, there are costumes sold, and plastic buckets molded to look like pumpkins. But there will always be harvest apples, real pumpkins on their way to rot with fire flickering in them, and brittle leaves skittering down the street in the night air. And the night itself, by 7 as dark as it will be until morning. Our breath turns to steam as it leaves us. I live in New England. It will be lovely, and I can already feel the thin thread drawing back through hundreds and thousands of years of fear, harvests and celebration. Sometimes the celebration has been tentative, sometimes laughing, but there is none other like it.
October 20th
We had another poignant discussion recently about the people we miss who have left GS, and there was knowledge passed that certain of them have "left for other lands," which I assume to mean Inferno in the case of certain noted roleplayers. That's always a bit hard to hear. If someone has left GS due to a lack of funds or time or interest, we think, they may very well return someday. But if they have left because they found a game they like better, there doesn't seem much of a chance.
I get old friends trying to recruit me into Inferno every now and then. I know if I were in their place I'd do the same. We want to continue roleplaying with the people we had fun with in the past, even if we must know each other as different characters than the ones we share memories of. And I do wish I could follow my friends to other games. To roleplay with them, and to experience places where roleplay is a much higher priority among the populace than it is here. There is excellent RP in GS, but sometimes I wonder whether I might enjoy myself more if that most enjoyable part of the game were around every corner instead of every 10th or 20th. If I like it when I manage to find a motown tune on the radio, how much more would I like a station that plays motown all the time? Would it be worth it?
I am invested in GS. Juspera was created seven years ago and is of course by now a large part of me. This site itself is testament to the time and thought I've sunk into my participation. Elanthia is the world I'm familiar with. I don't have any desire to leave it, and I certainly have no desire to leave my friends here, for both my sake and theirs. And though keeping a subscription to both games is an option, I'm uncertain about being able to devote enough time to either to get the experience I want. It just grates at me that, other things being equal, a game besides GS may be the better match for me. I'm not sure I'm even discontented... just annoyed.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm quite aware of the notion of Inferno being some black specter on the horizon that steals away our finest friends and roleplayers, never to spit them out, a beast whose name we dare not speak. As if desire to desert GemStone might be contagiously conveyed through sheer mention of our alternatives... or even that we ourselves might be tempted to taste foreign fruits, leaving behind family, duty and responsibility. We are afraid of our own potential for change. Am I afraid that if I try Inferno I might like it so much I effectively leave GS? Honestly, yes. That and the more practical concern of "time to devote" are what keep me from so much as dangling my toe in the water.
But I spend a lot less time thinking about trying other games than I do thinking about where I want to take Juspera, what future events will occur in GS, what kinds of interesting new characters I could make with the races and classes we all know. I won't say it will always be that way. But life isn't static, and it won't serve us to be afraid of the future. A better use for our emotion is to be grateful for the friends and fine roleplayers who choose to remain in GS, to manifestly enjoy our time with them, and to joy in good roleplay so that the proportion of fine participants here may ever increase.
October 27th
Everyone is asking me what I think about reallocation. (If 2 or 3 people means everyone.) Since there is obviously vast interest in my views on the subject, I'll spill them again here.
I'm blase on the issue of the optional reallocation. It can't help any of my characters, which are already ridiculously optimized. I don't think it will have a beneficial or detrimental effect on game balance, but I know it will make a number of players happy. Of course, my love of optimization is what has me fearing for mandatory reallocation. I enjoy tinkering, rolling, or waiting to get the best numbers I can, but with the implementation of our point-based stat allocation system, some of that ability (and enjoyment) was taken away, and I'm concerned GemStone will continue to go down that path, removing options from character creation, statistically speaking. Already the choice to spend lots of time rolling for a good stat total or get right into the game with a lesser has been removed. We can only do the latter now. Next, apparently, is the choice to place primary stats low for growth and have a hard time early on, versus placing primary stats high and having an easier time early in the game. Again, only the latter option will remain to us. I honestly don't see the staff moving in this direction when it comes to skills -- I see them working to make all skills useful, so that no one character is a be-all -- and thus increasing the choice/consequences dynamic in this regard -- but the past and present narrowing of our CM options certainly leaves some room for doubt.
I love choices in a roleplaying game. Most specifically, the choice to take a deficit in something so that you can have a benefit in something else, or the choice to place all your points in one area knowing you'll be hurt in another. Yes, this can lead to some characters having much higher, say, combat abilities than others at the same level, which can make creatures hard to balance. But the presence of consequences for our actions is one great hallmark of great roleplaying game design. It's a hallmark of great storytelling period. If our choice of actions is taken away, where does consequence come in?
I'm not going to panic about mandatory reallocation. But I do have concerns, and one of those is that continued narrowing of options in the CM will remove from us responsibility for our character's mechanical strengths and weaknesses, leaving a realm in which min-maxing is a thing of the past and we may only choose the path of moderation. It won't ruin the game by far, but I will be annoyed.
November 17th
As you all (had better) know, the Griffon Sword saga quest has moved to the Elven Nations now. And as some may know, I was discontented earlier that I had tried repeatedly to involve myself in the quest, but met with disappointment as I kept missing this or that small event within the large. This has happened to me in quests before... it happens to most people, I suppose... and there's little in the game that's more frustrating. We all know that hard work is supposed to pay off, but sometimes you spend all the time you can in what you hope are the right places in the game, you roleplay with the other people involved, you depart from the other people involved to search for items, you organize things yourself, and you still miss out on the things everyone else seems to run into or glean word of.
Now, as some have said, if you're only in it for the joy of RPing with other players, this isn't a problem. But, heck, I want to be in on the really special stuff too, meet GM-run NPCs, and all that.
But I'm glad to say that as time has gone on, I have been finding more of the excitement I want. In fact the past few days I have almost felt guilty that I've had some interactions others have not. I don't know what the moral of this story is. But maybe it's that while weeks of hard work don't always pay off, even more weeks of hard work might.
December 1st
Juspera for Mayor: Delegation, Fortification, Investigation, No Taxation
The final push for election is here, and so am I. Election day is finally on the horizon. The premature hype and horn-tooting by the other candidates has died away, and I know my tasteful tactics and carefully considered platform will remain fresh in your minds come voting time.
I have lived nearly 50 years in the Landing -- not all of them consecutive, but each of them attentive. I grew up in its alleys, face-to-face with the troubles and triumphs of the common citizen. I educated myself in its streets and libraries. On reaching an age I immediately applied to the House of the Argent Aspis, our premier house, a house dedicated to aiding new adventurers and teaching them the customs of the town. I operated as house secretary for a time, as well as supervising the acclaimed Aspis Festival of Learning when it was a weekly rather than monthly event. I am well acquainted with not only the practice of serving others, but with the actual mechanics of it, the values of leadership and the skills required to organize the manpower at hand into something worthwhile. I am reknowned for my gaming sessions in which participants can expect nothing less than a promptly executed, smooth-running and nonsense-free experience. No one has ever experienced a delay or roadblock caused by poor planning or lack of capability on my part. I am literate and intelligent. I am not rich. I take issue to taxes and own no home, here or elsewhere.
My platform is structured around four priorities; the first is Delegation. Representation of an entire town cannot be made by one person alone. I will be appointing citizens to cabinet positions, as many as I deem necessary, to share the power of the mayoral office. All citizens regardless of race or creed will be encouraged to apply, though prefered status will be given to those applicants I am not already friends with. I do not wish to harbor yet another regime of corrupt back-slapping cronies, or even to harbor the appearance of one. All this means, of course, that you the reader will have a chance to achieve a governmental position alongside the mayor. What is your specialty? Housing, defense, education? Think about it. Furthermore, monthly public forums will be held too discern and address the concerns of the populace at large. All will be heard.
The second priority is Fortification. The number of invasions experienced by the town over the last year alone are embarrassing. When were the town gates ever closed? If they were closed, would it have mattered? The gates must be replaced, by stronger structures with a greater content of iron or even an enchanted metal. The walls must be patched up and built even higher, if possible. The buildings in town must have thatched roofs replaced with non-flammable materials such as clay tile, either alone or with aid from the city, and protected centers for triage constructed. The adventurers of this town have always been able to drive off invaders eventually, and will continue to do so. It is my goal to keep the common, non-adventuring folk safe while this happens.
Investigation is the third priority. When we are safe from outsiders, we will turn our attention to safety from our own government. It's no secret that corruption festers in the offices of the Landing. Harmless crimes and faultless accidents are pursued with abandon and heavy fines, while heinous thefts and murders frequently go unpunished. Every judge and every officer of the law in this town will be subject to heavy scrutiny, and I expect to have to replace from half to two-thirds of the city's employees in the judicial system. New hirees will be trained to avoid the mistakes of their predecessors. They will also receive a hefty pay increase above what our current bribe-hungry officials are receiving. To further avoid corruption, all governmental officials besides myself will not be elected (i.e. bought by the highest bidder), but appointed.
Last we reach the priority of No Taxation. I am well aware of the character of this town. You want a mayor who serves you, not one who makes lists of rules and tells you what to do. You want a mayor who builds projects you support, not one who steals your money and uses it on pet projects nobody but the mayor wants. When money must be raised for community projects, it will be done through private, corporate and organizational donation, not through taxes. Few people know the generous heart of this town more than I. I have seen the outpourings of aid to the needy that come into Aspis's coffers alone. When the Landing burned this year, hundreds of adventurers with otherwise comfy lives placed not only their money but their time -- perhaps the more precious commodity -- into the backbreaking and nominally menial task of chopping wood for the rebuilding. This town is tight-fisted when forced, but open-armed when asked. When a new project (such as replacing the town gates) is completed, I will see that a plaque is set up for each, listing the names of all those whose donations made the effort possible. The names of all those who aided the town so under my mayorship will be preserved for all posterity.
Before I go, I would like to address a few concerns that have been brought up about me and my platform. First is my history of what is perhaps an overfamiliarity with our courts and jails. Like most of us, I was wild as a youth. I can hardly change the past, but I can assure you that it is in the past. The indignities done to my person since that time have only cemented my awareness of how corrupt and downright inept this town's lawkeepers are.
Second, I have been accused by some of being intolerant on religious issues. I believe my position on the matter has been misrepresented by those who would wish free license to infiltrate, burn and loot the town in the name of a Lornon Arkati -- Luukos, for instance -- and I wish to state that I do not plan nor have ever planned to bar Lornonites from town, destroy all local shrines to Lornon Arkati, or jail all Lornon worshippers until the war is over. In fact, as a gesture of my goodwill, I promise to appoint at least one Lornon worshipper to my cabinet.
Third, some have expressed concern that I am more a resident of River's Rest than of the Landing. You may listen to the Resters' complaints that they never get to see me, and draw your own conclusion.
And fourth, I've had the privilege of reading in the news the constable's claims that only higher taxes will allow for a better justice system. Our constable is well aware that his job is in danger should I be elected, and would like to convince every voter that the town cannot succeed without that thing I will never allow -- increased taxes. And if he does convince you that my plan can't succeed, well, he gets to spend another term living high off bribes, while you, my law-abiding friend, are ever in danger of being hauled off on a whim or a whispered word. I won't have it.
Debates are scheduled to fall on the 7th. I'll see you there!
Juspera Spintari
December 8th
I'm too tired this week for a real statement, but do enjoy the update. It wasn't quite as much work as the Bregandan war chronicle, thank goodness, but it took a bit out of me. Next week we'll return to the present with another Griffin Sword log.
Discuss your own event memories by following the link to my boards below.
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